Bad Teacher Review

Let's be real before we start going into whether this movie is good or bad... it has a lovable cast. Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake and Jason Segel are all just so likable, it's almost unfair to put them in the same movie, especially in a love triangle situation where the audience is rooting for all three of them.

That is Bad Teacher's ace in the hole: its charm. Ironically enough, the film is all about immoral decisions and terrible life choices. Elizabeth Halsey (Diaz) pretends to teach elementary school while she dates a rich schmuck who basically acts as her sugar daddy. He soon wises up to her two-faced shallow lifestyle and dumps her, right after she quits her day job to begin her full-time career of living off someone else. After this, she comes back to the school to take her job back while she finds another wealthy man to fool.

As you would expect, she's a terrible teacher. She disrespects everyone from kids to parents to colleagues and hardly does any "work" at the school. She thinks the only way she'll find another man is by increasing her boob size (which was probably Diaz's only real physical fault), so she tries everything she can to raise the $9000+ to afford the procedure.

Hilarity ensues.

One thing that Bad Teacher definitely does right is the pacing and the continuous comedy. One element of many modern comedies that I truly dislike, as I mentioned in my Bridesmaids review, is when the plot turns severely melodramatic just to flesh itself and its characters out a bit. Some people might appreciate it!

But I don't.

If I'm going to see a movie called "Bad Teacher," I'm expecting it to be funny all throughout, and luckily that's exactly what I got. Diaz's character learns the error of her ways, she (somewhat) rectifies them, and everything works out in the end! Nothing sappy, no one cries, there's no slow piano music accompanying a montage of flashbacks of terrible things that have happened; it's all just fun and pretty campy.

But the comedy cuts short most of the time, considering a good chunk of your laughter will come from someone dropping the "F" word in front of middle school children. There's so much material and potential here, but it's all squandered for relatively cheap gags. The whole cast is fantastic, but the moments with Phyllis Smith (of "The Office" fame) and Eric Stonestreet (of "Modern Family" fame) are the best by far. The gimmick is in the title: Cameron Diaz is just a really really bad teacher, not just as profession, but by moral standards as well. She curses every other word, purposely pisses off anyone she can, smokes marijuana at leisure, and resorts to sex and drugs to get her way. It's hard to imagine how or why you would be rooting for her the whole time considering she has no redeeming qualities to begin with, but by the end she has a sudden turnaround.

Note the word "sudden." This is another flaw Bad Teacher faces; there's hardly any lead into Diaz's change of heart toward the end. Throughout 90% of the movie, she is detestable in almost every respect, and then around the end she helps a kid (whom she initially makes fun of) be "cool," albeit not by the most wholesome means but she means well. But why? There's no back story that tells how she was teased in school or anything; in fact, she alludes to how pretty and popular she was. She drugs and swindles the head of the statewide school test to get the answer sheet so her class can perform the best, she keeps trying to win over Timberlake's character solely for the money, keeps putting down Smith for being old and fat, keeps ruining children's hopes and dreams... you get the point. But suddenly she falls for the underdog and becomes a good person.

It's not too big a deal, but this complaint really lies in the shadow of the bigger complaint: Bad Teacher is formulaic and predictable. The audience can call out the ending from the get-go with simple movie-by-numbers logic, and by the halfway mark, jokes start to repeat themselves.

With these negatives in mind, I still have to give Bad Teacher some extra credit for not resorting to the sort of sappiness that plagues other films of its kind. Bad Teacher is funny. With some low expectations, it can actually be pretty good, but it's also forgettable and serves as a Summer comedy to pass the time with.

Bad Teacher gets an average C. A 2.5 GPA. A check minus.

Whatever.
6.0/10
-Kyle Shelton

Bridesmaids Review

Chick flick. Star vehicle. Summer release.


These are three valid reasons why you would expect a film like "Bridesmaids" to be awful. Why shouldn't you? "The Sex and the City" films were under the same labels, only stirred with the adaptation/remake/sequel  titles as well, and look how those turned out? Not to mention it's using a star known primarily for her SNL work, and that tends to receive mixed reactions as well.


But why be so negative and narcissistic when glimmering hope arrives in the form of a movie like this one. "Bridesmaids" is far from perfect, but is aided by your low expectations that are soon trumped. 


Kristen Wiig stars as a woman chosen to be her best friend's (Maya Rudolph) maid of honor at her wedding. Unfortunately, her life is in shambles, and it only gets progressively worse as the stress of planning the perfect wedding for her BFF combines with the rivalry of a newer, prettier, more perfect best friend (Rose Byrne), threatens to replace her. 


Naturally, this all culminates in hilarity when everything goes awry for Wiig, and quite honestly, she shines. She's great at physical comedy as well as verbal; she also co-wrote the film, and it's not hard to notice. She deviates pretty dramatically from her usual SNL schtick, though, as she plays a relatively normal and relatable character. She isn't really the funny girl, though; it's the situations and the supporting cast that generate all the laughs, particularly the other bridesmaids themselves. Each of them has a great character and persona that are easy to fall in love with, and this is only helped by Wiig's connection to them. Her chemistry with Rudolph is fantastic and it's obvious that they're close friends off-screen as well as on it.


As great as all these things are, however, Bridesmaids still suffers from some clichés. Most notably, the film needlessly meddles with drama and a relatively lengthy "sad" streak of events. Sure, this might help the audience connect with Wiig a little more and give her more dimension, but in a film with mostly gross out, shock and over-the-top humor, it's just a nag to have this sequence right in the middle. It makes sense in context, but thematically, comedies like this don't need these sorts of scenes. Luckily, it never delves into depressing or tissue-clinging sappiness, but I also don't want to be laughing one second and then have to feel upset the next. If a film can achieve that without making the feeling awkward or out of place, great! But most films, including Bridesmaids, don't hit that mark. Compare this to a similar stand-out comedy like The Hangover, which hardly has any dramatic elements to it. Why? Because it doesn't need them. Its whole purpose is to make you laugh from start to finish, and it does so while maintaining fully fleshed-out characters and an engrossing plot. No need to make you sad or feel bad!


I'm also not a fan of unnecessary romantic sub-plots. Read my other reviews... go ahead, I'll give you a second.












Okay, most of them probably have some reference to my hatred of these plot devices (if they can even be called such) because they're not important and their only purpose is to give the character(s) involved some sort of dimension. There is certainly a romantic sub-plot involving Wiig and a substantially less important character here, but it actually plays a part in the theme and directly into Wiig's own plot branch, so I can forgive it. That's another element of Bridesmaids that I love; there are specific things that are referenced in Wiig's life that play a role in how everything else play out: her living conditions, her career and her love life. These are all integral elements of her life that are shown enough times to make them important without being absolutely necessary, and they don't detract from the main story at all. 


So what Bridesmaids ends up being is a much better-than-average chick flick romantic comedy that both men and women can enjoy... although women are probably much better suited to it. Although it suffers from a few clichés and sometimes resorts to low-brow humor, it's still hilarious and proves that chick flicks, star vehicles and summer movies don't have to suck. Prepare for the drunk airplane scene, the dress-fitting scene and the.. well, the scene where Wiig tries to get pulled over. Bridesmaids offers what we love about these  It'll end up being forgettable, but let's be honest... Kristen Wiig is looking at a bright future.


8/10
-Kyle Shelton

Salt Review: Left me Dry.

Who is Salt?

That’s a mighty fine question to pose, movie poster. I’m still not entirely sure who Salt is, except that I know she just wants to be the “good guy.”
Thus, Hollywood has churned out yet another relatively shallow “blockbuster” star vehicle by the name of “Salt.”

The story, to the best of my ability to comprehend, is about a woman named Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie, as if you didn’t know) who’s accused of being a Russian sleeper agent in the U.S. She leads a normal life as a good ol’ American citizen working for the C.I.A. when a Russian man named Orlov (a man whose name I’m just too lazy to look up) is captured and interrogated. Upon this interrogation, he spills the beans that Salt is a Russian spy and that she’s going to kill the Russian President when he comes to visit America on behalf of the American Vice President’s death. Oh, and she has a husband who is really into spiders, whose existence in the film is almost completely useless save for one pivotal point about halfway through. That's just shoddy writing, and is about as close to a deus ex machina as you can get without literally being called a deus ex machina.

Anyway, as you can guess, she runs away and everyone in America is out to get her. Her bff Ted (Liev Schrieber) plays dumb throughout the entire chase and truly believes that Salt is innocent.

Of course, until she tries to assassinate the President of Russia. AT A CHURCH of all places. She really knows how to put the "fun" in "funeral."

But I digress, scenes like that are what make Salt a deliciously fun film. Campy at times, Salt is enthralling, and with a tagline like "Who is Salt?" you'd have to be a complete idiot not to realize that there's going to be at least one huge twist in the film. Then you discover that there's about 4. Then you come to terms with the fact that Salt goes from being really cool and slick to just ridiculous.

SPOILER:
Why is it ridiculous? Just like the "SPOILER" in all caps reads, you may not want to read this paragraph. If you're still reading, you've been warned. The point where boy-next-door Ted decides to go Postal and SMG the bejesus out of EVERYONE in the President's war room is when I just felt violated and confused. The twist was interesting (if not foreseeable), but it went way too over the top. I'm a fan of over the top. In fact, my favorite action movie of all time is Grindhouse and it really doesn't get more over the top than that. But you're telling me than a man who's entrusted with sitting next to the President of the United States in a confined and highly isolated room while launching nuclear warheads at any country he so chooses can just waltz around and shoot every single person in there without so much as a scratch on his knee?
:END OF SPOILER

Anyway, Salt has its moments of boldness when it comes to how far it is willing to push you until you finally say "Okay, really?" That has nothing to do with how she defies physics as she seamlessly jumps from car to car on a busy highway... it's all in terms of story. A man whom the Central INTELLIGENCE Agency is believed to be a foreign terrorist cannot just walk into their headquarters armed with a knife, kill two of their finest employees, then just walk out never to be heard from again. That just doesn't happen.

Jolie does a fine job with the script she's given, and she should be commended. She still stands as one of our favorite Femme Fatales in the movie biz, and she's not losing that status any time soon. Then again, it's hard for anyone to remember a tried and true "good" movie she's been in that wasn't all hyped up just because she was the star. Salt is yet another cinematic endeavor that comes out during Summer, people will most likely love for a week, and then be forgotten in the disarray of past Summer action blockbusters we all dearly knew. That's pretty much all there is to it. Salt is great the day you see it, pretty good the following week, then it's easily replaced by another film of the exact same quality.

Salt is a gimmick. It's not necessarily bad by any means of the word, but it just won't transcend any standards or become the new "Die Hard" franchise we should be so ready for. It hardly does anything new, its main driving force is Jolie and the only reason anyone will "like" the film enough to refer it to friends is because it presents several twists that some of us will see coming a mile away and some of us will suspend our disbelief long enough to pretend we didn't see it coming a mile away. From an action standpoint, Salt was frenetic and fun in all the right places. From any other standpoint, Salt falls flat.

-Kyle Shelton
5.0/10

Transformers Revenge of the Fallen Review: Fallen Oh So Very Far.

The quintessential blockbuster cash-in has finally arrive...Michael Bay directs part two of the Transfomers saga, Revenge of the Fallen. Naturally, you'll probably go see it and be wowed like a kid at a Disney fireworks show...but does Transformers really have the umpf to propel it into an actual "good" film?

No.

Simply put, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is just a stupid movie all-around. Now, stupid doesn't necessarily mean bad, but Transformers has transcended the threshold of inconsistency and incoherent story-telling into the realms of just plain insulting.

The second installment in the Transformers revamp deals with Sam (Shia LaBeouf) and his leaving from home into the college life. He leaves behind his car/Transformer Bumblebee and his girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox). After inexplicably finding a shard of the "Allspark Cube" from the previous film, Shia is attacked by miniature Decepticons and realizes how important the piece is. Giving the remnant to Mikaela to keep safe, Sam goes off to college only to be followed by his beloved Transfomer companion Bumblebee, who informs him that there's trouble afoot. A mythical rogue robot known as "The Fallen" awaits patiently in space for the right moment to return to earth and engage a machine that will destroy the world by exploding the sun.

That's what the writers' strike of 2007-2008 will do to you, I suppose. And we're left with explosions out the yin-yang and Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots beating the bejesus out of each other for a good 2 hours. What's not to like, right?

First of all, if the story didn't seem lame and cliche enough, the actual dialogue that takes place is on the cheap and lazy side. Instilled humor within an action movie is nothing new, and we've come to expect that from a movie like Transformers, but when the comedy relies on raunchy jokes, stereotypes, or rehashed jokes from the first film for most of its humor, there's a problem. The writers had a serious falling out when they were writing this script...or perhaps they were just desperately trying to appeal to the mass media public that will pay any set price to watch things go boom and laugh at thrifty attempts at comedy. Sure, I laughed, only in good fun to keep in tune with the pacing of the film. But each time, I felt like I was dumbing myself down. A good portion of the jokes comes directly from two Transformers who act like stereotypical black thugs, gold teeth and all. Also, the level of cursing has risen significantly this time around...and its not even from the humans. No, its from the Transformers and Decepticons. Honestly, its just a bit sad to finally realize that everything that's meant to be funny in the film is only funny because they are performed by monstrous machines of destruction-dealing. That, folks, is a gimmick.

Speaking of gimmicks, there's almost as much product placement in the film as there are explosions. Now, with a Michael Bay film, you may think that's nearly impossible...but let's not forget the kind of budget Transformers was riding on and who its target audience is. Yes, teens, teens, and more teens. Enjoy the film, and also, go out and buy a new LG phone with digital television capability! Oh, and don't forget how fantastic Bad Boys 2 was because Michael Bay won't let you.

But yes, of course we have to give the nod to Mr. Bay for his fantastic and compulsory use of dynamite, fire, C4 charges, cannons, artillery, fireworks and matches...or whatever he uses for his special effects. Explosions galore are included in Transformers 2 and may even win the record of most explosions ever seen in a full-fledged feature film, at least by Bay. I wish I had mustered the nerve to actually count how many there actually were, but another nod goes to him for his cartoony immersion of the Transformers universe. Throughout the entire film, you will feel like you're watching a cartoon that's just updated. Although, some of Bay's direction techniques irked me, particularly his use of the Sun in several shots that seemed pointless and distracting. I'm not really sure how many times you would have to pan across a conversation with the Sun glaring at you to get this point across: the Sun exists. We get it, Michael Bay. Thank you.

As for the alien robots themselves, they look spectacular. They're all richly detailed as they were in the first film, but seem to have gotten quite the technical upgrade in the sequel. The animation is more fluid, especially the actual transforming, and they're incredibly well-rendered. Many kudos to the CGI team for really pushing the envelope with the Transformers and Decepticons. But, there's a major problem with the CGI and that lies within the action sequences. It's hard to really tell what's actually going on in any given fight other than seeing a punch or two here or a missile being shot there. Otherwise, its just a jumbled mess of fighting where parts are flying everywhere due to who-knows-what and spontaneous explosions occurring. This is probably due to many of the metallic parts looking similar, so it might take a second for that head being split in half to actually register in your mind.

That's where the positives stop, however, considering the acting is dreadful. As beautiful as Megan Fox is and as much as I love her real-life personality, she doesn't cut it as an actress. Literally, she's only in movies to get the men wild, and that is another GIMMICK. Fox cannot act to save her life; she's completely unconvincing, shallow, boring, and looks like she's trying to show off her body as much as humanly possible. Shia LaBeouf, though, is a little bit better on the acting scale but that's not really saying much. He has hope and the ability to become a fantastic actor, however, but needs a little more time doing movies that challenge him rather than playing a simpleton who gets picked by aliens to do their bidding. Sam's mom, though, played by Julie White, is actually pretty hysterical and quite the slapstick artist. She's adorable as the attached mother who's afraid to see her little baby grow up and be just flat-out silly about it. The dad, though, is just a 2-dimensional character thrown into the movie for...well, nothing more than to give Sam a dad, I guess. Luckily, John Turturro returns as Seymour Simmons and is a fine, welcome face in the otherwise dreary pool of washed up actors.

Transformers also leaves a lot to be desired in many senses. I'm not a Tranny (Transformers fanatic), but I still don't understand the whole plot line for The Fallen and his relationship to the Decepticons and Transformers. Apparently, he just wants to destroy Earth. That's about it, and the Decepticons are just coming back to retrieve their precious Allspark shard and destroy the Transformers yet again. Oh, when will they learn? Probably not for another 493 sequels. I mean, it probably was described in some shallow, contrived, overly complex voice over spot, but its an issue that its hard to comprehend without researching it afterward. Also, its a tad bit strange to see these robots spew liquid...as in, they cry and spit. Why do they do that? Its completely unnecessary and inconsistent and serves no real purpose other than slight comedy.

Tadaa! Transformers in a nutshell:

-Novice story-telling
-Cheap thrills
-Shallow humor
-Boring acting
-Gimmicky
-Full of product placement
-Cliche
-Uninteresting human characters
-Completely irrelevant romantic subplot
-Been-There-Done-That storyline
-Frenetic and incomprehensible action sequences

Thank the Bay gods for the indisputably fun overall experience and some magical-looking robots. All in all, watching Transformers 2 will make you feel like a kid again, especially if you watched the show. Yep, it'll make you feel like that lazy, potato chip-eating, homework-skipping, test-ditching, gun-obsessed, anime-watching 12 year old all over again...ahh, the good old days.

2.5/10

-Kyle Shelton

The Proposal Review: Say 'I Do' ...but not so Fast.

What's better than putting two hot celebrities, both physically and popularly, together on the big screen during Summer blockbuster season? Have them get married and let hilarity ensue. The victims of such a shameful movie pitch: Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds.

But do they at least keep the marriage wagon rolling? Or does their love boat plunge into the depths of the abyss?

Well, thank the acting gods for Reynolds' charm and Bullock's cuteness.

The Proposal is a film about as deep as the surface of an above ground pool relative to sea levels...its not deep at all. Then again, what do we, as the unsuspecting movie public, come to expect from a romantic comedy starring two of the biggest stars in Hollywood? Andrew Paxton (Reynolds) is a journalist and assistant to his editing manager Margaret Tate (Bullock), whom everyone in the office hates with a fiery passion. One day, however, Tate discovers that her visa application didn't go through as planned, and is being deported back to her homeland of Canada. In a last minute, desperate effort to stay in the country and keep her esteemed job, she blackmails Paxton into faux-marrying her, to which he has almost no choice but to say "yes." That same weekend, though, Paxton's grandmother is celebrating her 90th birthday, so Paxton and Tate both have to live with eachother for a weekend up in Paxton's native Alaska with his family and bare the good news to everyone.

Hilarious, right? Well, that's just about the entire storyline right there, leading up to the ending...you know, the whole "So do they get married or not? Does the family find out?" scenario. Luckily enough, "The Proposal" isn't a bad film. While its not the most thought-out or heavily developed movie, its still charming, charismatic, and entertaining and provides fun, gimmicky flare all around.

"The Proposal" certainly passes the test of awkward comedy with flying colors...if the slapstick and cutesy interaction between Bullock and Reynolds don't tickle your funny bone, then the situations they're constantly thrust into will. The connection between the two leading roles will certainly hold your interest because you just won't be able to look away. In fact, even though Bullock plays the office-boss bitch, you'll probably find yourself rooting for them to get together in the end. And why not? They're both funny in their own ways and mesh perfectly together. Specifically, Bullock's lovable yet scathing portrayal of the uptight, mean manager will win you over, especially by the end. If you don't already like Ryan Reynolds, then he might just win you over in "The Proposal," albeit not his best work.

It stands as a fun, light, comedic romance, but there's just a few useless ingredients mixed into this subtly sweet apple pie. For example, the role between Paxton and his father provides no insight into either character nor their relationship, and its never explained why they're the way they are. This interaction could have easily been much more entertaining, but it falls as derivative and distracting. Same goes for the Paxton family name, showing them as a wealthy family business which doesn't account for any integral part of the storyline.

At his core, Paxton is a pretty 2D character besides some slight nuances. Tate, however, evolves slowly throughout the film at a nice pace. What doesn't change at a nice pace, however, is the relationship between the two. While its fun to laugh at their high jinks on-screen together, its almost completely sudden when any shift in their relationship takes place. It would have been more engaging to actually feel when they started being angry or complacent with each other rather than just see it happen at one moment.

And, well, as a whole its a bit difficult to really critique "The Proposal" for more than what it is: just a romantic comedy. Ultimately forgettable, but temporarily lovable. Also, kudos for having Betty White play the grandmother.

6.5/10

-Kyle Shelton

The Taking of Pelham 123 Review: Moves Too Fast to Let You Off, Even when You Want it To.

For the last time, The Taking of Pelham 123 is not based on a true story.

It is, however, based on an older movie.
Which is based on a book.

So does this suspenseful rehash of a rehash keep you on the train? Or are there too many stops to the point of you saying "I need to get off" ?

Well, if you haven't heard of this star driving blockbuster starring Denzel Washington and John Travolta, Pelham tells the story of Garber (Washington), a subway train dispatcher who, one day, has to talk with a criminal codenamed Ryder (Travolta) as he demands $10,000,000 from the city of New York. He gives the city an hour to come up with the money, and if he doesn't receive it within that timeframe, he promises to kill one hostage for every minute over.

That's basically the extent of the premise for this film. At first glance, you'd think "Oh, okay, thrill ride action movie for the Summer," and at its core that's what Pelham is. However, there lies an interesting relationship between the two main characters, Garber and Ryder, and by the end, you realize that they're not just coincidentally put together in the situation. Beneath it all lies a moral and profound look on society as a whole.

Without spoiling anything, that's as far as I'll go. As for the movie in its entirety, Pelham surprised me by surpassing my expectations.

But not by much.

Pelham, despite what I mentioned earlier about its thought-provoking subtext, is still just a suspenseful cash-in blockbuster using big names to attract audiences. Travolta is a hit-or-miss character in Pelham. At times, I loved his anger and propensity to be over-the-top and ruthless. Other times, however, I felt like he was overdoing it and just having too much fun and leisure with the role. Washington does an outstanding job, though, as the lovable protagonist that you root for from square one.

From the beginning, the movie ropes you in and doesn't let go till the very end. Literally, the entire movie is one, big, suspenseful ride and it truly feels like a subway train gone out of control. There really is no lull at any point, and given the objective and target audience of the film, this is a very good thing. The direction was handled extremely well by Tony Scott and, as with most action films, its clearly evident that shooting this kind of movie takes a behemoth amount of talent, precision, and expertise, especially within the constrained confines of a subway tunnel and a subway cart itself. Editing, along with the spot-on direction, is also well done. Kudos to a technically proficient post-production!

So acting is great, direction is fantastic, and the editing is just swell. What could go wrong? Well, pretty much everything else, especially the writing. Dialogue and continuity is handled moderately well, and considering the story is taken from two previous sources, the overall package feels a bit shallow. Now, I do realize that action movies generally don't have the smartest scripts, but other than the fun interaction between Garber and Ryder, it really has nothing going for it. I was really hoping, and expecting, to get a little more attached to the individual hostages and maybe have a tad bit more backstory. Instead, what we get is the cuteness of a mother and her young son, a boy chatting via webcam to his girlfriend, a man who is racistly mistaken for something but is redeemed soon after, and another man who "has to take a piss" as mild comic relief. Otherwise, I didn't care for anyone being in real danger except for the fact that they're heralded as innocent hostages. This is a huge hole in the design of the film, considering, just like Ryder, their the only leverage it really has to your interest. This is even more disappointing because the intro to the film shows them all separately, almost profiled and center framed, as if they were all key characters too.

So, all in all, "The Taking of Pelham 123" is almost exactly what you're expecting it to be: fun Summer fare to throw your $8 at. Its certainly decent and I'd rate it above average just for how well it kept me zoned in at the screen. However, exciting directing and the powers of Travolta and Washington aren't enough to redeem it completely as an uninspired two-person-powered train ride to oblivion. In conclusion, I just wish there was more to like than what I saw visually, but hey, you might walk away rethinking a few little things from the main characters. Then again, you might not, then you'll be left shaken and throttled like a bad roller coaster.

6.5/10

-Kyle Shelton

Summer Threeview!

Okay, you're asking yourself (if you're reading this) "What the f!$& is a 'Summer Threeview?"

Well, loyal and/or not-so-loyal reader, let me tell you! "Threeview" refers to the fact that Summer is 1/3 of the way over! So, I've picked my top 3 movies of the Summer so far as well as the top 3 movies I can't wait to see.

So, let us begin with the top 3 movies of Summer so far:

3.The Hangover
Yes, the story of a bachelor's party gone terribly awry due to alcohol actually garners my respect. In fact, its my favorite comedy of the year thus far. Why? Because The Hangover isn't an insult to the American lifestyle and traditions we hold unlike most movies of the same genre/style. Actually, it kind of is, but more than an insult its a tease and a commemoration of just how ridiculous the antics of our society really are. It's not a stupid movie; if you can fathom this, its a dumb movie done intelligently. The Hangover is hysterical, continuously comedic, and entertaining through and through. There's tigers, Mike Tyson, a baby, Andy from The Office, a metrosexual Asian mafia leader, and plenty of nudity. And hey, if you liked Old School or American Pie, you're gonna love The Hangover. If you didn't like either of those, you're STILL gonna love The Hangover because its better.




2. Up
Of course, how could someone not include a Disney-Pixar feature when they're talking about their favorite movies? Besides Dreamworks at least...copycats. Just kiddin, Dreamworks, we loved Shrek! And Shrek 2!.......Just the first two..take a hint.

Anyway, Up is a fantastically imaginative story that is whimsical as it is mature. Kids will love it, Adults will love it, and everyone in between will love it. It's just one of those lovable movies from almost every aspect, and Up is certainly no let-down from Pixar. Where kiddish movies like Night at the Museum and Land of the Lost weren't so hot in the "That movie was really good!" department, Up is just the type of film to take kids to...over and over again. I mean, c'mon, what's not to love about a cute and grumpy old man, a clutzy asian Boy Scout, a talking dog, and a peacock/emu/dodo bird hybrid called a "Snipe" who can say more without even making a noise than most can do with an entire speech.


1. Star Trek
You probably saw this coming...as far as Summer blockbusters go, Star Trek is that money-hording thrill ride everyone wants. But wait, there's more! It's not bad! Sure, everyone loves comic book movies or Transformers, but not all of these films really live up to the hype. They're flashy, dazzling, and have that nuance of nostalgia we all crave, but in hindsight, they were just "okay" in the sense of a well-rounded movie. But Star Trek takes the cake from the gimmick bakery and and boldly goes...well you know. A fantastic cast, expert direction, and a witty and bombastic script combine to form what is, ultimately, the perfect movie experience. You leave content and have your expectations shattered into zillions of pieces. Its that movie you recommend to all your friends...and for many, it was a surprise hit (due to the "Trekky" fanbase that seem to be the only ones to actually get excitement when an announcement like this is made). So kudos, Sir Abrams. May your sequels live long and prosper.



Intermission!

Just kidding...unless you actually left this article and did something else for a few minutes before reading on. In that case, in all seriousness. Here we are to my, personal, top 3 contenders for most anticipated Summer movie of 2009 as of June 8! Let it begin!


3. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
G.I. Joe. If you were a kid in the 80's or 90's, just hearing that name gets you inappropriately aroused. So when Paramount Pictures announced an official G.I. Joe movie, well, you can imagine the reaction. All those secret agents, ninjas, robots, mech suits, jet planes, guns, superpowers, terrorists, and weapons of mass destruction are back in superior special effects for its Summer blockbuster debut. Why am I excited? I'll admit, I was never the biggest fan of G.I. Joe...but, I did love the toys and watched the cartoon here and there. Its just one of those childhood remembrances that I can't get rid of, so I'm just naturally ecstatic. But what gets me more is the action packed trailer. Now, if that trailer just doesn't scream "COOL" right at your face for all two minutes, then I seem to have forgotten what "cool" is. As an actual all-around cinematic feature, we'll see if it has what it takes. But as a Summer blockbuster filled with combustible everything from start to finish, its looking to keep me on the edge of my seat through and through (due to fear of an ejection seat going haywire).

2. Public Enemies

Well, this entry isn't so much a Summer blockbuster as it is just a Johnny Depp declaration of "Aww shi*." The man is back as the main baddie/goodie in Public Enemies, the story of John Dillinger. If that poster doesn't already pull you in, check out the trailer. And if THAT doesn't make you want to see it immediately, well then go watch a movie about a forbidden romance between two star-crossed lovers that takes place during the Renaissance or something. Michael Mann looks to be the Man in this feature which he directs. On top of the in-your-face badass style which Public Enemies seems to be heading towards, the soundtrack is engaging and enthralling, or so it seems. This is the kind of movie I'm going to walk out of pretending to shoot up the theater with the justification that the other patrons just "don't understand me." Don't worry, it makes sense. If you love crime dramas, gangster, and/or Johnny Depp, get ready to get your ass kicked on July 1, 2009. (No androgynous drunk pirates were harmed in the making of this film).

1. Inglourious Basterds
Okay okay, so I'm a bit of a Quentin Tarantino fanboy. But, can you blame me? Tarantino stands tall amongst today's directors as one of the best and most beloved. Unfortunately, he likes to have a decent hiatus between his films, usually between 2-3 years. So finally, after a 2 year hiatus after Death Proof, Tarantino returns in his violent and overblown form with a story of Nazi annihilation. Yes, its a World War II story directed by Quentin Tarantino. I'm not quite sure I have the words to describe how perfectly suited he is for such a role. The trailer shows Brad Pitt simply being a badass and ordering the acquisition of 100 Nazi scalps...and he wants his scalps. This trailer shows that Tarantino isn't messing around and this is meant to be one of his masterpieces to show off from his repertoir. What else could be a more perfect end to Summer than a movie about collecting Nazi scalps in France? A movie about collecting Nazi scalps in France directed by Quentin Tarantino and starring Brad Pitt and Ryan from The Office...yes, really.


Aaaaaand there you have it! Kyle Shelton's Summer Threeview! Now, I know a lot of you are probably all ancy because I didn't include X-Men in my favorite films nor did I include Transformers 2 or Harry Potter in my anticipation part...well, I love X-Men, but more like that family member that gives you presents every year and you'd be sad if he/she died but you're not exactly psyched to go see when mom and dad decide its their house's turn for Thanksgiving this year...

Long analogies aside, X-Men was great but didn't hold up to the first 2 X-Men films nor the the overall comic book counterpart of a storyline. As for Transformers, I'm going to go see it, as is 99% of the United States' population, but if I didn't, I really wouldn't be that disappointed. I only liked the first Transformers, and the trailer for this second one really hasn't gotten me in a twisted bundle like the other films I mentioned. In fact, I'm more stoked to see "Funny People" than Transformers 2, but I'm still excited. What can you hate about giant robots beating the bejesus out of eachother, right?

And Harry Potter...well, I haven't finished all your films, and I've only completely read 2 of your books. The movie certainly looks promising, but considering its an adaptation of a craze I never got too into, I'll let it slide as just a mild intrigue rather than full-fledged midnight premiere-worthy fiasco.

The Hangover Review: Tastefully Tipsy or Drearily Drunk?

And alas, the director of Road Trip and Old School, Todd Phillips, comes to us with yet another raunchy, bromance-filled sexcapade of drunken misadventures and an over-the-top propensity to say "Oh my God" with the perfectly titled "The Hangover." However, do we really need another movie about all those good times at college blown up into an even more adult form? Haven't we developed this formula time and time again? Is "The Hangover" just beating the drunk dead horse over and over again?

Nope. Glad to say, this is the one Hangover you'll actually enjoy.

The story of "The Hangover," as you would imagine, follows a group of odd-coupled friends celebrating their buddy's wedding by having a boisterous bachelor's night in Sin City itself, Las Vegas. But, when Alan, (Zach Galifianakis) Doug (Justin Bartha), Stu (Ed Helms), and Phil (Bradley Cooper) end drinking too much, they all wake up not having a single clue as to what happened the night before. What makes matters even worse is that Doug is getting married in two days, but when his friends wake up, they realize that he goes missing and spend the 2 days (including the day of the wedding) ruthlessly searching for him. After waking up in the villa they rented, they find a tiger in their bathroom, a burned chair, a suspended footrest, Stu missing a tooth, and a slew of other ridiculously random situations to deal with. In an effort to rescue Doug before the wedding, keep the whole vacation a secret from everyone back home, and figure out what exactly went on the previous night, they backtrack from the clues they find in their villa and it becomes a story of mystery and comedy seamlessly meshed together.

The script written up for "The Hangover" is so clever and well-thought that its hard to believe that it was concocted for what would, otherwise, just be a stupid frat-boy comedy thrill ride. What we get as an audience is actually a commemorative comedy to show that not all simple slapstick and schlock has to be mediocre, monotonous, and just plain dumb. The film pulls punchlines almost every other phrase and never lets up; there's not one moment of lull in the entire film. In fact, if you think there's a part that seems not as funny as the rest, give it about 10 seconds and something hilarious will ensue, guaranteed. What most impressed me is how quick the jokes were...almost like there was no cheap setup for any of the comical scenes, physical or verbal.

Alongside skilled writing is the work of the actors themselves. No, they're not winning Oscars for their work, but keeping in tone with the film, they perform spectacularly. Their characters are so believable and it truly seems that each character was developed almost exclusively for the actor that played each. Each of the main characters have a real sense of charisma about chemistry between them and the story, while far-fetched, is believable from their interactions and the continuously quick and cunning comedy.

However, "The Hangover" isn't perfect in any regard. While the actors have real personality on-screen, they were a little hard to really delve into considering their back-stories and connections to each other were hardly touched on. The film never describes how each of them really met each other and/or why they're friends, especially considering each of them seem like they would never actually be friends in real life (from their immediate character traits). What's more is that the characters themselves aren't really drawn out all that well; its hard to really sense what each character is truly like. When someone can assess almost immediately what a character is going to do next, they form a bond with that character; they learn and feel who that character is. In "The Hangover," it really seems as if a bunch of shallow ne'er-do-wells were thrown together randomly for a preposterous night in Vegas. In short, there's no real depth to the characters and, thus, you never truly get an attachment to any one of them.

Alongside this, I had a bit of a trifle with one particular scene near the end which is built up through the entire movie. Without spoiling it, its something that is foreshadowed and alluded to plenty of times, and when the moment of the occurrence finally arrives, it really isn't as dramatic, engaging, funny, or climactic as it should've been. But this reflects the entire conclusion as a whole...once the resolution of the initial conflict starts to take place, you realize that there was nothing to really look forward to the entire movie. You were just awaiting the next joke or the next silly antic to come across the screen rather than actually, anxiously, expecting something to happen.

But then again, what else have you come to see from a light-hearted silly movie about friends and their crazy adventures? "The Hangover" pretty much serves up exactly what you were expecting, if not more. Its hilarious, quotable, and immensely memorable in all the right ways and holds up as this year's Knocked Up or Old School. Now if the writers of this collaborated with Judd Apatow and his team, we might get something truly epic. Until then, keep your morning after pills handy for this film because its going to be one hell of a night.

7.5/10

Drag Me to Hell Review: Dragged to Horror Heaven.

Ever been told you're going to hell? Or been told by someone in extreme disdain "Go to hell!" Well, next time someone says that, reply "gladly."

Drag Me to Hell is the latest horror flick from Spiderman and Evil Dead director Sam Raimi. Why is this a big deal? Sure, he directed the Spiderman series which was fun and great, but he's returning to his horror/suspense/B-movie roots that he has grounded in the Evil Dead series that has become so iconic both as cheesy entertainment and truly frightening jumps. But, does he still have a taste for demonic decadence? Or has the B-movie master gotten lost in lament?

Fear not! Or fear so! Raimi is back and just as good as ever!

Drag Me to Hell follows the story of Christine (Alison Lohman), a loan officer who is awaiting a very prestigious promotion at her bank firm. When an old woman named Mrs. Ganush (Lorna River) comes in asking for an extension on her housing payment before repossession takes place, Christine sympathizes and consults her manager (David Paymer) who tells her its pretty much up to her. Christine then decides against Ganush's wishes and declines her payment, after which the old lady begs her and causes a dramatic scene...only to come after Christine later and place a ravenous curse on her that will drag her to hell in 3 days. Christine doesn't realize this until she sees a fortune teller (Dileep Rao) who foresees her horrible fate and instructs her on ways to dissuade the satanic demon named Lamia from ripping her soul to the down under (and I don't mean Australia).

Phew.

As one can imagine, panic and horror ensue as poor Christine is challenged with ridding her life of this demon, comforted only by her loving boyfriend Clay (Justin Long) who doesn't believe in the paranormal nonsense that the teller feeds her.

What most people need to realize before seeing Drag Me to Hell is that its not exactly a horror movie, nor is it completely a B-movie romp like Evil Dead was. Those looking to watch it with the expectations of getting scared in the same manner as The Ring or The Grudge will probably be disappointed. However, if you go in with low expectations and appreciate the pitch-perfect pacing of the direction, you'll thoroughly enjoy yourself and exude excitement and anxiety for Raimi's next flick.

So you'll probably want me to stop beating around the bush and just tell you if Drag Me to Hell is a good movie. From almost any aspect, it is. The cutting, editing, and usually abrupt style of direction Raimi uses enthralls the audience and literally pulls you in as it throws a paranormal punch right at your face at the perfect moment. The jump scenes are plenty, and while they're expected and foreseen rather easily, they still manage to chill you and freak you out. But perhaps the freaking out wouldn't be due to the jumps so much as it is to the gross-out factor the movie retains, and herein lies Raimi's signature over-the-top preposterousness that put him on the map 20+ years ago. If you're not jumping back at a demon with sharp teeth, you'll jump back at the certain spewing fluids that come out of certain places and end up in other certain places.

That being said, the combination of the obvious scare moments, repulsive audacity, and trite yet giggle-worthy dialogue make for what is easily the most entertaining movie thus far of 2009. Its not perfect, and this is primarily due to Raimi's style that has worn off over time...even though the predictable scares are an integral part of the structure of this style of film, it really diminishes the scare factor that could otherwise really scare the bejesus out of you. Also, the volatile scenes, although appreciated for their involvement with the audience, become a little too much near the end of the movie. No matter what, you'll still jump back, cover your mouth, and utter obscenities at how disgusting what you're seeing is, but the entertainment of it gets a little tedious (especially when you're awaiting a freakish scare).

All in all, Drag Me to Hell is certainly a fun movie and crafted to a predefined, strong structure that Raimi so carefully developed. However, its appeal may be limited overall as the scares aren't as scary as they should be and the comedy isn't as comedic as it could be. At times, Raimi's flick seems like its not sure if it wants to be B-movie, ridiculous flare or if it actually wants to solidify itself as a rock-hard thrill ride. While it may not succeed 100% in any of these areas, it certainly is one "hell" of a ride...and you just might get car-sick.

7.5/10

-Kyle Shelton

Angels & Demons Review: The Holy Scavenger Hunt...Again.

The DaVinci Code gave us, the public, quite the shock with such antagonizing views against the Catholic Church that made us question faith and organized religion as a whole. Then, we realized it was a fiction conspiracy story no more elusive than the Bourne series. Silly us...now we have the follow up to Robert Langdon's atheistic ventures with yet another unholy happening in a holy setting: the death of a pope in Vatican City. But wait, there's more! The large Hadron collider in Sweden now plays a role in this yarn of Yahweh...so does Angels & Demons connect on a more personal and interesting level?

Well, if you've seen/read The DaVinci Code (or ever participated in an Easter egg hunt) then there's not too much to look forward here.

First off, the pope dies in Vatican City and its time to choose a new one...but who? As a congregation of cardinals discusses candidates, 4 of the top choices are subsequently kidnapped (along with a vial of antimatter from the Hadron complex).

Quick side-note on antimatter, if it comes into contact with, literally, anything, it will cause "violent" disturbances in our space. Its suspended in a vacuum-tight capsule which the kidnappers use as their threatening weapon in Vatican, much like a bomb, if their demands aren't met (along with killing the 4 kidnapped candidates for the papacy).

Who better to decrypt the mysterious threats and save the day than Harvard symbology professor Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks)? Oh, yeah, the physicist who holds the secrets to destroying the world via rapid atomic collision, Vittoria Vetra (Ayelet Zurer). Alas, our story begins when Dr. Langdon is summoned to the Vatican to follow the legacy of the fabled "Illuminati" from times past and locate the 4 papal successors, along with the devastating device of doom, and save the world from disarray, accompanied by the Vatican police and Vittoria.

Well, Angels & Demons certainly kept up with the pacing of DaVinci Code, in the sense that its relatively relentless in its "Hurry before the Rapture ensues!" timing. Tom Hanks returns as the snarky yet incredibly and conveniently lucky guesser Dr. Langdon. Though, personally, I've never been a huge fan of Hanks, he returns in good form, reprising a relatively likable and entertaining character.

As for the plot, well, its based on a book so its hard to criticize the story without having read its source. However, I can say that it literally is just one humongous scavenger hunt that seems to never end. Langdon goes to a library, second-class female assistant supporting actress finds a clue, they dash to the scene which contains an angel pointing them in the direction of the next clue, OR DOES IT?! This formula gets repetitive to the point of menial chore. At one point, I found myself hammering to just get on with the ending and see who becomes the new pope. Even kids get sick of long scavenger hunts after a while...especially if the prize ultimately isn't worth it. Lucky for us, though, we don't know what our prize is!

Also, the message of combining scientific research and discovery with religious faith and credibility seems to be the big recurring message in the movie. Its warm and heartfelt, but really, it doesn't do a great job of conveying this idea emotionally (especially with all the horribly static characters, including Langdon).

Running a 2 hour and 20 minute length, Angels & Demons repeats the same formula as DaVinci code. It certainly pulls you in, like a fisher does to a hungry fish. However, after a while, that fish will get tired and probably just give up, so in this case, it depends how hungry you are for this sort of thing. If you absolutely love Dan Brown, DaVinci Code, or religious conspiracies in general, you'll probably enjoy Angels & Demons. If you less than love any of those 3 categories, than this will ultimately become a forgettable forte' into Summer blockbuster cash-in. Angels & Demons remains a "fun" movie, but perhaps not for the $7-$10 of your hard-earned cash to see something that will thoroughly entertain you in and out.

5/10

-Kyle Shelton

Up Review: Up Skyrockets

Disney-Pixar seems to crank out the best of the best animated movies nearly every year. In fact, from Toy Story to Wall-E, critics and audiences alike have praised the studios for their beautiful, insightful, comedic, imaginative, and nearly flawless works. Their newest outing, Up, just arrived, but does it have enough helium to rise up to the ranks of their previous works?

It rises beyond most, if not at least floating amongst them.

Up is the story of an old man named Carl Frederickson (Ed Asner) who wants nothing more than to fly to Pardise Falls in South America and live out the rest of his life. As time passes, his surroundings slowly become commercialized, and his house is the only suburban domestication left in a construction site smack-dab in the middle of business buildings. Threatening to impound his home for the land, Carl has no choice but to leave and join the community at the Shady Oaks retirement home. The day of his retrieval, however, he ties an enormous bundle of balloons to his chimney, fills them all up with helium, and flies away to finally achieve his goal. Accompanying him is a little boy scout named Russell (Jordan Nagai) who was on his porch at the time of his lift-off. Thus, an adventure ensues, where Russell and Carl develop a bond and befriend a talking K-9 companion named Dug (Bob Peterson) and a strange, rare bird whom Russell affectionately names Kevin.

Up follows the near-same story structure that most fantasy yarns, especially Disney ones, follow. There is a villain, it has some relatively mature overtones, and it has a special message to give out. The lesson of "following your dreams" is omnipresent throughout the movie, but not in an overbearing way. In fact, Up is quite possibly one of the most heartwarming films you could ever see in your entire life. It touches on so many emotional levels that are so difficult to emanate from a cartoon, yet Pixar figures it out year after year. Guaranteed, you'll at least tear up a little bit at certain parts, be immediately thrust into the middle of every suspenseful action sequence, and be filled with warmth and joy at any conflict resolution. This is where Up and its predecessors all shine; they truly evoke passion from anyone including the youngest of toddlers to the oldest of adults.

However, while Up is certainly a fantastic visual experience as well as an enthralling adventure, it suffers from one thing: redundancy. Maybe not so much within the film itself, but after a while, you realize that Up is not much different than almost any other cliche-ridden feature. The story itself is bold and original, that being about a flying house that travels to another continent...but when you mix in the all-too-obvious friendships that begin, the shallowly touched-on love story, and a villain as 2-dimensional as any other, Up begins to feel like you've been there and done that all too many times. For a younger audience, Up is sure to be perfect in their eyes, making them laugh and excited throughout the entire film. For an older audience, especially one who follows the success of Pixar so closely over the years, Up ultimately feels like its a filler squished between the masterpiece of Wall-E and the long-awaited sequel Toy Story 3.

At the same time, this is what we've come to expect from animated children's movies, especially born of Disney caliber. Up is certainly original, even in its storytelling (which explains the old man's grumpiness before the real story sets it rather than having a half-way epiphany about his life), but in the end, feels kind of the same. This, by no means, renders Up as any less of a beautifully written, directed, and animated feature film for any audience to enjoy. Just be aware that you may leave feeling a little less blown away than the first time you saw Toy Story, Finding Nemo, or Wall-E, but also be aware that you're still going to be blown up, up, and away.

8.5/10

-Kyle Shelton