Top 10 TV Shows from 2000 - 2014

…that I’ve seen.

I love TV (and lists), so I decided to really get to the nitty and gritty of my favorite series of all time. That is, my favorite TV series that I’ve seen and only from 2000 and onward, because while the original Doctor Who might be a tour-de-force of brilliance and originality, I’ve never seen it and it’s plainly too outdated for me to care at this point. I’ll take your word for it, though.
Anyway, if you’re here you’re probably bored and looking to start a war with me over what constitutes a good show. So, without further adieu:

10. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

Best episodes: E04 An Alchemist’s Anguish, E47 Emissary of Darkness, E61 He Who would Swallow God
Best character: King Bradley

It’s rare for me to get into a show from the very first episode, much less the first few minutes or so of watching it. And that’s still the case with Fullmetal Alchemist, a show I reluctantly started because one of my exes couldn’t stop putting it on a pedestal at the summit of Mt. Everest.

I’ve never been a huge fan of anime in general either, except for when I was younger and watching muscle-y alien men charge up their powers for 27 episodes (Dragon Ball Z, looking at you) seemed to really get me worked up. Of course, when you grow older, shows like Dragon Ball Z and Rugrats are only enjoyable for their nostalgia once you realize how stupid you were when you were too high on Surge to pay any real attention.

Fullmetal Alchemist is the sole reason that I started giving anime another shot. I’ve Netflix’d quite a few since my re-entry into the vast genre, but even since I was a child, I’ve never see an animated show so wildly original and captivating without pandering to the ADD in me. The story starts off (somewhat) simply enough, with two brothers who engage in “alchemy” attempt to bring back their dead mother, resulting in one brother’s soul being trapped in a suit of armor for eternity and the other losing an arm and a leg in the process. The plot revolves around them trying to restore their bodies and unlocking the true potential of alchemy by chasing a macguffin, a “philosopher’s stone.”
That’s the breakdown, but when you get multiple episodes in and start meeting other characters, the show truly starts to shine. Every single character (and there’s plenty) is multidimensional, their goals and ambitions explained, none of whom are traditionally “evil” or “good.” My reason for loving the show is because it doesn’t fall to some more conventional anime gimmicks that would turn most people off, but instead gives us an original setting and storyline with incredibly layered characters with suspense at every turn and absolutely STUNNING animation. Fullmetal Alchemist is great for the anime-lovers and just plain tv-lovers in general, providing the thrills and laughs of any outstanding tv show.

You should watch if: you like anime, OR if you don’t. If you like a great plot with multiple characters, solid themes and beautiful animation, definitely watch Fullmetal Alchemist (both versions).

9. The Walking Dead

Best episodes: S2E11 Judge, Jury, Executioner, S3E3 Walk with Me, S3E13 Arrow on the Doorpost
Best character: Hershel Greene

The Walking Dead is a show that has polarized its audience. It’s half soap-opera, half zombie massacre. People expecting more of one over the other seemed to be turned off; however, it has certainly picked up steam over the years as can be observed by the 16.1 million viewers for the premiere of season 4. I like to describe the show as an intense character drama where zombies just so happen to be co-existing.

I’ll be honest, the first season took a long time to hook me in. So long, in fact, that it didn’t hook me at all. I fell into that group that expected more zombie madness than “RICK CAN NEVER KNOW,” followed by crying. I watched two episodes, thought it was neat, then read the synopsis of the season on Wikipedia. Then I heard people talking about how incredible it had gotten and I was floored; I kept saying “really? That show?” How shallow of me, I guess. I started Season 2 being a little lost, but slowly started to understand why The Walking Dead was so great: its characters. Yes, the show had great pacing, build-up and tongue-in-cheek humor here and there, but I started to really hate a lot of people. The Walking Dead, much like Game of Thrones, leaves no character safe from very abrupt murder. The end of season 2 gave me a very satisfying death in one of my most hated characters, but that was the whole point.

It’s very good at keeping you torn on people; one second, you’ll eat cereal out of their bath water knowing they are pure and perfect, the next… well, you’ll want to drown them because oh my god what the fuck are you thinking? While you may not agree with things, The Walking Dead puts this alternate future-reality in a grim-yet-realistic scope, and you find yourself pulling your hair out disagreeing yet understanding a lot of the characters’ decisions. It’s one of the few things on TV you’ll find yourself having a one-sided conversation with, other than a sports game… I guess. I don’t know, I don’t keep up with sports.

You should watch if: you’re looking for a deep drama that poses challenging scenarios in an alternate modern-day reality.

8. Modern Family

Best episodes: S1E16 Fears, S2E7 Chirp, S4E11 New Year’s Eve, S5E12 Under Pressure
Best character: Claire Dunphy

Ah yes, a comedy about the trials and tribulations of every day family life in three different-yet-connected households. What a gold mine of societal commentary!

And indeed it is; Modern Family has one of the most boring show titles in the history of anything, and while the seemingly normal premise might seem cute for a few episodes, you’ll get hooked on the inner workings of the Pritchett family. Three different sub-groups of the American family are shown: the traditional family (2 parents, 3 children of differing ages), the non-traditional family (woman and man both divorced then re-married, step-son, ethnic, old man with young woman), and the very non-traditional family (gay male couple, adopted Vietnamese child).

The show certainly took some risks with the gay-centric family, but it also pulls it off fantastically, pulling humor from easier, typical gay jokes AND ALSO from the sarcastic indifference towards them. Every actor gives outstanding performances, with characters like Claire, Jay and Mitchell showing their affinity for perfect comedic timing. Each one is so varied and different, and considering the show is an ensemble piece about 10 main characters each getting significant screen time, that’s no easy feat. They somehow made a middle-child character archetype just as interesting as everyone else. The show draws most of its humor from simple, every day nuisances and how the quirky personalities of each family member responds to them; each episode also has three separate plots that each tie into eachother and have a common theme among them, usually with some sort of heart-warming message accompanied by guitar. What’s not to love?

You should watch if: you love a good comedy that tries to progress society’s standards and if you can relate to bad relationships with in-laws and annoying smoke detectors.

7. Community

Best episodes: S1E23 Modern Warfare, S2E19 Critical Film Studies, S3E6 Advanced Gay, S3E20 Digital Estate Planning
Best character: The Greendale Human Being
 
You would think a show about a bunch of school rejects at community college would be funny. And you would be right.

But you wouldn’t expect how deep and detailed such a show could be, and that’s where you’d need to hop off that high horse and start riding the humble donkey because Community is a show that demands you take it at more than face value. At its core, it’s a comedy, a sitcom without a laugh track where its characters get into ludicrous and hilarious predicaments, but the first season makes you think it’s all about Greendale Community College and its hijinks; it’s not, and once you see the secret garden episode or the paintball episodes, you’ll discover that Community makes a name for itself and differentiates itself from other network comedies by being weird, original and critical of other genres.

It parodies action movies, old-school sitcoms, horror films, documentaries, B-movies and everything else you can imagine. While its being funny, it’s providing smart commentary on a range of subjects and the entertainment industry as a whole, and you won’t even realize you’re forming an opinion while watching “Trey and Abed in the Morning!”

Community was such a delightful surprise of a show and continues to be suspenseful, hilarious and heartfelt all at the same time. For a TV show, that’s hard, especially for one that shamefully lost its showrunner for a whole season before bringing him back. Its characters are so diverse and retain their own brand of comedy and the storylines are always so much more intricate than what you first expect. Also, Joel McHale’s body…

You should watch if: You’re sick of typical sitcoms and you’re ready for something to turn your view of TV and film on its head.

6. Parks & Recreation

Best episodes: S2E24 Freddy Spaghetti, S3E11 Jerry’s Painting, S4E6 End of the World
Best character: Ron Swanson

If you’ve seen The Office, chances are you’ve at least heard of Parks & Recreation, a show that exists in its spirit and soul. Similarly, the show retains a lot of what made The Office great: handy-cam, cinema verite cinematic approach, varied characters, juxtaposition of the mundane worklife against zany antics, etc. But Parks learned from any of the mistakes The Office made, which is why it replaces it on my list of the best shows because it’s essentially The Office 2.0.

It follows the story of Leslie Knope, head of the Parks & Recreation department at her local government office of Pawnee, Indiana. The show starts by following her lead a rag-tag group of ill-informed government employees from the pop culture-obsessed, materialistic Tom to the apathetic, lazy intern April. Although one of the real stars here is Ron, Leslie’s boss, a man who prides himself on being riggedly conservative in social values and a man who doesn’t take shit from anybody. But like many of my favorite shows, each character isn’t just a two-sided coin, but rather they evolved into Rubik’s cubes, each having multiple values and reasons for those values. They each also add their own flavor of humor to the show, and I’m honestly beyond impressed with how varied each character is. Other than focusing primarily on Leslie, you could argue that Parks & Recreation is a pseudo-ensemble with the other characters getting their fair share of attention and screen time.

You should watch if: you enjoyed The Office, love Amy Poehler and love making fun of the government.

5. Lost

Best episodes: S1E1 Pilot, S3E22 Through the Looking Glass, S5E3 Jughead, S5E12 Dead is Dead
Best character: John Locke

Other than reigniting my passionate love for peanut butter, Lost is probably the show that got me hooked onto the ‘serialized drama.’ Lost was ambitious from the very beginning, setting up LOTS of questions that people still make fun of to this day, almost 4 years after it ended (seriously, polar bears, am I right?). At its core, the show is about a group of people who crash land onto an island and have to survive. It’s like that Tom Hanks movie but there’s no volleyballs. Oh, but you’d be a fool to think the show was JUST about being stranded on a desert island, wouldn’t you?

You would, because the show tackles more thematic elements that I could shake a hatch door at: religion, time travel, physics, cults, medicine, societal hierarchy, life and death and existence itself. There’s plenty more, but each of those could be made into their own 9-season show BY THEMSELVES. Many people criticized the show for spreading itself too thin with all these different angles, and I can’t entirely disagree with them. After the 2nd season, the show started playing with more advanced ideas (like time travel and teleportation) and it all started to feel more and more gimmicky. Perhaps it was; but I admire the show for pulling in all these different ideas and evolving the base concept into far, far more; something that people still argue and debate over today (again, 4 years after its end).

The show kept you guessing in every single episode, and you started to have things like movie tie-in conspiracies. People (including myself) would stay up all night rattling my brain, and my thoughts usually went something like "Wait, if he made the plane crash, then how did she- oh right, isn’t on the island. But that guy’s dad is, or is he an illusion? Or is he alive? And if he is, what does he want with the peanut butter chick? OMG SHE SPEAKS ENGLISH?!"

You should watch if: you don’t already know major spoilers and love being a detective for 6 seasons and, also, you love deep conversations about existence and God.

4. Archer

Best episodes: S1 E5 Honeypot,S1E10 Dial M for Mother, S2E10 El Secuestro, S3E8 El Scandolo
Best character: Mallory Archer

Anything that strikes me as inappropriate and non-water-cooler-friendly immediately grabs my attention because I like to make sure I alienate as many co-workers as possible. Archer is the kind of show that has that kind of humor. Lampooning James Bond and Mission: Impossible-style thriller movies and shows, Archer retains silly cartoon banter and slapstick while still sticking to its roots. Sterling Archer works for his mother, Mallory at a CIA-style super-intelligence facility called ISIS. Sterling, along with his on-again off-again love interest Lana and a team of scientists, accountants and receptionists are tasked with assassinating political leaders, busting drug networks and taking care of an ocelot.

The show works primarily well because of all the long-running jokes. While certain plot points carry over episode-to-episode, it wouldn’t be necessary to follow the show in chronological order except for how most of the humor works. One-liners are funny on their own, but the real gut-busting comes from referencing a joke from season 1 in season 3. Many of the jokes are inside jokes, with no set-up or real way to explain it to a friend (should you have any) without having them see the episode for themselves. Yes, you’ll be “that person” that tries to explain a “had-to-be-there” moment if no one else has experienced Archer, and it’s incredibly difficult to pinpoint what works so well about this style of comedy. The animation is also usually very static, so combine the minimal movement of someone like Sterling with his over-the-top delivery and you’ve got a winning combination of originality. It’s as if the show includes you in its circle of friends and only then will you begin to understand why everyone should be its friend.

You should watch if: you love big action set-pieces, sexy characters, ocelots, androids, nudity and perfectly timed banter among selfish people who don’t know how to do their jobs.

3. Arrested Development

Best episodes: S1E2 Top Banana, S1E13 Beef Consomme, S2E16 Meet the Veals
Best characters: Lucille Bluth

A more perfectly-crafted comedy never existed. Arrested Development revolves around a family who owns a real estate company known as the Bluth Company and how absolutely crazily and idiotically each member treats the multi-million dollar establishment. Save for Michael Bluth, the show’s primary protagonist, each character seems to suffer from some sort of social deficiency that results in each of them leading their lives astray from logic. Michael is tasked with keeping the company, and the family, together, but is tested to his absolute limits in nearly every episode. Much like Archer, the shows truly shines when it references things from other episodes, future episodes and even things in the same episode that may or may not have happened yet. There exists a ridiculous amount of foreshadowing, allusion and puns/word play that it would be easy to completely miss over half the jokes throughout your first viewing.

Yes, first. Arrested Development warrants at least 2 or 3 views of its 4-season run because, after having watched it 3 times or so now, I STILL find references and jokes that I never caught before. Once you start blue-ing your mind with all the foreshadowed events, you’ll see why the show is so masterfully created and written. The humor often informs the plot rather than just being funny asides, such as the mistaken Spanish for “Hermano” or the way the devilish matriarch treats her children. Things evolve out of the jokes, and too many comedies don’t understand how difficult and appreciated that can be.

You should watch if: you love dysfunctional families and playing with the English language (and appreciate a show you can re-watch unabashedly).

2. Breaking Bad

Best episodes: Every
Best character: Walter White

I hate to build upon the hype because that often ruins things for people, but Breaking Bad is one of the very few things in the world that simply cannot be over-hyped. Okay, maybe it DOESN’T have fire-breathing tigers and machine-gun-laden dinosaurs, but it falls just short of those things in the “awesome” factor. In case you were recently born within the past day, Breaking Bad is a story about a high school chemistry teacher-turned meth badass who starts dealing so he can make money for his family once he dies of cancer and finishes dealing because, well, he is the one who knocks.

This is the ultimate anti-hero/redemption story, though. Writing a good character is hard; writing characters this good is near-impossible, but here you have a set of characters who shock you with every move but aren’t unbelievable. The story is always so tightly told, with every loose end tied up in a perfect drug-laced bow, characters who act within their own parameters and pacing that never feels too fast or too slow. The writers seemed to have worked so methodically, even the tiniest details you never thought would be important turned out to be REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT.

Breaking Bad pushed the boundaries of cable television and introduced a character we needed to hate, but couldn’t. Throughout the shows 5-season run, we grew up with Walter White, seeing him evolve (or, devolve, rather) and we can’t entirely blame him for how many events play out. Characters carry true weight, and when one dies, it strikes a powerful chord. And let’s not forget the dark, dark, dark humor the show uses as both very slight dramatic relief but also as points of “..can I laugh at that?”

You should watch if: you like TV. At all. If you’re a fan of good writing and an exceptional dual-life redemption story, Breaking Bad is for you.

1. Futurama

Best episodes: S3E4 The Luck of the Fryrish, S5E18 The Devil’s Hands are Idle Playthings, S6E7 The Late Philip J. Fry, S7E10 The Prisoner of Benda, S10E10 Game of Tones, S10E12 Meanwhile
Best character: Professor Farnsworth

You’ve made it to my #1 TV show of all time. Congratulations! You do care! …Or you skipped just to see the list instead of reading my reasons, which is fine, whatever, you’re a cunt.
If the tragedy and comedy masks had a child, Futurama would be that mask. The show is hilarious and smart, albeit pandering to the 5-year-old in our hearts at times. And I don’t just mean smart like “what a great twist that was,” I mean this is the show that made up and proved its own mathematical theorem. Yeah, it’s that kind of smart.

But to reference my allusion to the masks earlier, Futurama is like The Simpsons or Family Guy if those shows could make you cry. Episodes like the infamous, heart-wrenching, SERIOUSLY HAVE TISSUES READY “Jurassic Bark” all deftly mix humor with serious heart, and it’s when you watch these episodes that you realize that Futurama is something special. It’s far more than butt jokes and slapstick; it has pitch-perfect commentary on everything from politics and technology to big business and religion. It’s the rare show that you can enjoy with your brain at low power or maximum power, being able to grab your attention with its bright colors and special effect and then hold it with it big, scientific words and explanations. While the setting has plenty of holes in logic, the year 3000 still feels real and tangible. The show is phenomenal at butchering other shows and genres and despite how far out it is, still remains relatable. Fry’s undying love for Leela never gets old, and by the end of season 9, you’re going to realize why.

You should watch if: you have a heart and a sense of humor.

TV-obsessed,
Kyle

Her Review

We live in a time when people would prefer to text each other instead of meet up for coffee and catch up, and that might be due to our growing dependence on mobile technology, lack of free time to actually accomplish such a meeting or our searing disdain for human interaction… or all three.

Probably all three.

But at what point will cell phones and tablets become more than just tools for communicating with friends? Like, let’s say, at what point will they actual become our friends? This is the kind of question Her poses to the world (and the answer is the not-too-distant future). In fact, I wouldn’t be shocked if the movie is re-titled “The Life and Times of Siri: A Remembrance” in about 20 years, when this concept becomes all too real.

Her started making its rounds around festivals and limited-release showings in early 2013, and when I first heard about it, I was immediately intrigued. “This sounds interesting!” I would say to myself, a gleam in my eyes and a skip in my step.

"That looks fucking weird," everyone else would say, fire in their hearts and a sealed metal vault around their minds. This post is about Her and my thoughts specifically on it, but it truly irritates me that someone will completely ignore a potentially eye-opening, exciting and/or emotional experience because of some contrived rationale, like “that looks weird” or “it’s a children’s movie” or “it has Nicolas Cage in it.” I can understand your initial hesitance, but some of my favorite movies are ones that I thought I wouldn’t have any interest in, like The Wicker Man.

Just kidding, that’s a terrible movie, but did I let the fact that it’s weird or that it has Nicolas Cage keep me from seeing it? For a while yes, but the point is that I watched it and it was the best unintentional comedy I’ve ever seen.

So, yes, Her is an unsettling concept because, let’s be real, who wants to date their computer? That’s messed up and sad and pathetic and, oh, wait…

One sec…

Mmhmmm…

Okay, done.

Sorry, I had a new message on Plenty-of-Fish, where was I? Oh, YEAH, we’ll NEVER be that dependent on our technology for things like love, right?

But we already are, and it’s only getting worse; aside from the mind-poking fabrication/realization of our future, Her is, very possibly, my favorite film of 2013 (barring the fact that I haven’t seen as many as I wanted to). Her deftly, creatively infuses comedy and drama together, hand-in-phone, that the film never becomes more of one than the other; Her becomes almost a standard romantic comedy without you even realizing it; Theodore Twombly and Samantha, the main character and his operating system (OS), go through all the motions of a typical budding romance: interested friends, sexual tension, awkward day-after scenario, honeymoon phase, bored-of-eachother era, try-new-things-in-bed-to-shake-things-up mode, etc. They become jealous of each other and you start to realize that this is a real romance and that you want both …”people” to be happy with each other. It’s beautiful tragedy, because you know that Samantha is completely artificial but Theodore is just a lonely man who has finally looked to his last resort and given into it. We can sit here and say “that would never be me, I’d never stoop that low,” and guess who else said that? All of us, 15 years ago, when online dating starting getting big.

So yeah, this is an almost logical step forward in the creepy digital romance spectrum, but it’s handled with such care and meticulously written dialogue. Samantha is never physically present, but she feels tangible. You’re constantly reminded that you can’t touch her, but you want to give her a hug anyway. Her knows how to play to some of the most basic temptations of romance and it makes you evaluate what you consider important in sharing your life with someone else. Sure, looks and personality and humor are all important but at the end of the day, just like long distance relationships, if you can’t actually hold them in your arms, it feels like it means almost nothing.

Such beautiful cinematography and an amazingly gripping musical score, guide you go through all kinds of emotions, usually right along with Theodore. You feel sad, you feel happy, you feel anxious, you feel confused, etc. To me, any film that can make you feel any one of these feelings dominantly rates highly in my book because it’s very difficult to truly evoke such human pathos in an artificial medium, but when a film can successfully tackle multiple ranges of emotion, it’s a particularly outstanding feat. What you see and what you hear harmoniously fuse to bring out your most basic human characteristics, and we’re talking about a movie starring a talking phone. Scarlett Johansson and Joaquin Phoenix are captivating, Johansson being particularly brilliant considering you never see her. The subtleties in her voice are just as convincing as slight facial reactions and, again, she feels wholly real even though you never see her.

Her helps transcend the modern tragicomedy by giving you a “weird” premise and running with it. The film is smartly written, sharply directed, beautifully lit and stunningly scored and for such a simple idea, it makes you wonder about some of life’s most complicated daily ideas (and will possibly be the harbinger for bringing back pastel colors and high-waisted pants).

We’ve all fallen in love and we’ve all had that one specific person that made you crazy, confused, nervous, excited, happy, mad, depressed - human. Perhaps that’s Samantha’s purpose, an artificial catalyst for your emotions. She helps Theodore get in touch with himself and how he controls his real-life relationships by putting him through all of those feelings, and in turn, Her does the same thing. Maybe, before we all lose touch (literally and figuratively) with each other, take a chance and show, don’t tell, that crazy person that you love them and maybe you can be clinically insane together.

Rarely can a movie make me feel what this movie could, especially when it’s about an “artificial” relationship.

The Good:
+ Excellent acting from lead actors
+ A simple idea, masterfully analyzed
+ Perfect blend of comedy and drama
+ Original ideas and themes
+ Amazing, gripping soundtrack and visual set-pieces

The Bad:
- High-waisted pants. Oh God.

10/10

Socially, Acceptably Insane,
Kyle

Bad Teacher Review

Let's be real before we start going into whether this movie is good or bad... it has a lovable cast. Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake and Jason Segel are all just so likable, it's almost unfair to put them in the same movie, especially in a love triangle situation where the audience is rooting for all three of them.

That is Bad Teacher's ace in the hole: its charm. Ironically enough, the film is all about immoral decisions and terrible life choices. Elizabeth Halsey (Diaz) pretends to teach elementary school while she dates a rich schmuck who basically acts as her sugar daddy. He soon wises up to her two-faced shallow lifestyle and dumps her, right after she quits her day job to begin her full-time career of living off someone else. After this, she comes back to the school to take her job back while she finds another wealthy man to fool.

As you would expect, she's a terrible teacher. She disrespects everyone from kids to parents to colleagues and hardly does any "work" at the school. She thinks the only way she'll find another man is by increasing her boob size (which was probably Diaz's only real physical fault), so she tries everything she can to raise the $9000+ to afford the procedure.

Hilarity ensues.

One thing that Bad Teacher definitely does right is the pacing and the continuous comedy. One element of many modern comedies that I truly dislike, as I mentioned in my Bridesmaids review, is when the plot turns severely melodramatic just to flesh itself and its characters out a bit. Some people might appreciate it!

But I don't.

If I'm going to see a movie called "Bad Teacher," I'm expecting it to be funny all throughout, and luckily that's exactly what I got. Diaz's character learns the error of her ways, she (somewhat) rectifies them, and everything works out in the end! Nothing sappy, no one cries, there's no slow piano music accompanying a montage of flashbacks of terrible things that have happened; it's all just fun and pretty campy.

But the comedy cuts short most of the time, considering a good chunk of your laughter will come from someone dropping the "F" word in front of middle school children. There's so much material and potential here, but it's all squandered for relatively cheap gags. The whole cast is fantastic, but the moments with Phyllis Smith (of "The Office" fame) and Eric Stonestreet (of "Modern Family" fame) are the best by far. The gimmick is in the title: Cameron Diaz is just a really really bad teacher, not just as profession, but by moral standards as well. She curses every other word, purposely pisses off anyone she can, smokes marijuana at leisure, and resorts to sex and drugs to get her way. It's hard to imagine how or why you would be rooting for her the whole time considering she has no redeeming qualities to begin with, but by the end she has a sudden turnaround.

Note the word "sudden." This is another flaw Bad Teacher faces; there's hardly any lead into Diaz's change of heart toward the end. Throughout 90% of the movie, she is detestable in almost every respect, and then around the end she helps a kid (whom she initially makes fun of) be "cool," albeit not by the most wholesome means but she means well. But why? There's no back story that tells how she was teased in school or anything; in fact, she alludes to how pretty and popular she was. She drugs and swindles the head of the statewide school test to get the answer sheet so her class can perform the best, she keeps trying to win over Timberlake's character solely for the money, keeps putting down Smith for being old and fat, keeps ruining children's hopes and dreams... you get the point. But suddenly she falls for the underdog and becomes a good person.

It's not too big a deal, but this complaint really lies in the shadow of the bigger complaint: Bad Teacher is formulaic and predictable. The audience can call out the ending from the get-go with simple movie-by-numbers logic, and by the halfway mark, jokes start to repeat themselves.

With these negatives in mind, I still have to give Bad Teacher some extra credit for not resorting to the sort of sappiness that plagues other films of its kind. Bad Teacher is funny. With some low expectations, it can actually be pretty good, but it's also forgettable and serves as a Summer comedy to pass the time with.

Bad Teacher gets an average C. A 2.5 GPA. A check minus.

Whatever.
6.0/10
-Kyle Shelton

Bridesmaids Review

Chick flick. Star vehicle. Summer release.


These are three valid reasons why you would expect a film like "Bridesmaids" to be awful. Why shouldn't you? "The Sex and the City" films were under the same labels, only stirred with the adaptation/remake/sequel  titles as well, and look how those turned out? Not to mention it's using a star known primarily for her SNL work, and that tends to receive mixed reactions as well.


But why be so negative and narcissistic when glimmering hope arrives in the form of a movie like this one. "Bridesmaids" is far from perfect, but is aided by your low expectations that are soon trumped. 


Kristen Wiig stars as a woman chosen to be her best friend's (Maya Rudolph) maid of honor at her wedding. Unfortunately, her life is in shambles, and it only gets progressively worse as the stress of planning the perfect wedding for her BFF combines with the rivalry of a newer, prettier, more perfect best friend (Rose Byrne), threatens to replace her. 


Naturally, this all culminates in hilarity when everything goes awry for Wiig, and quite honestly, she shines. She's great at physical comedy as well as verbal; she also co-wrote the film, and it's not hard to notice. She deviates pretty dramatically from her usual SNL schtick, though, as she plays a relatively normal and relatable character. She isn't really the funny girl, though; it's the situations and the supporting cast that generate all the laughs, particularly the other bridesmaids themselves. Each of them has a great character and persona that are easy to fall in love with, and this is only helped by Wiig's connection to them. Her chemistry with Rudolph is fantastic and it's obvious that they're close friends off-screen as well as on it.


As great as all these things are, however, Bridesmaids still suffers from some clichés. Most notably, the film needlessly meddles with drama and a relatively lengthy "sad" streak of events. Sure, this might help the audience connect with Wiig a little more and give her more dimension, but in a film with mostly gross out, shock and over-the-top humor, it's just a nag to have this sequence right in the middle. It makes sense in context, but thematically, comedies like this don't need these sorts of scenes. Luckily, it never delves into depressing or tissue-clinging sappiness, but I also don't want to be laughing one second and then have to feel upset the next. If a film can achieve that without making the feeling awkward or out of place, great! But most films, including Bridesmaids, don't hit that mark. Compare this to a similar stand-out comedy like The Hangover, which hardly has any dramatic elements to it. Why? Because it doesn't need them. Its whole purpose is to make you laugh from start to finish, and it does so while maintaining fully fleshed-out characters and an engrossing plot. No need to make you sad or feel bad!


I'm also not a fan of unnecessary romantic sub-plots. Read my other reviews... go ahead, I'll give you a second.












Okay, most of them probably have some reference to my hatred of these plot devices (if they can even be called such) because they're not important and their only purpose is to give the character(s) involved some sort of dimension. There is certainly a romantic sub-plot involving Wiig and a substantially less important character here, but it actually plays a part in the theme and directly into Wiig's own plot branch, so I can forgive it. That's another element of Bridesmaids that I love; there are specific things that are referenced in Wiig's life that play a role in how everything else play out: her living conditions, her career and her love life. These are all integral elements of her life that are shown enough times to make them important without being absolutely necessary, and they don't detract from the main story at all. 


So what Bridesmaids ends up being is a much better-than-average chick flick romantic comedy that both men and women can enjoy... although women are probably much better suited to it. Although it suffers from a few clichés and sometimes resorts to low-brow humor, it's still hilarious and proves that chick flicks, star vehicles and summer movies don't have to suck. Prepare for the drunk airplane scene, the dress-fitting scene and the.. well, the scene where Wiig tries to get pulled over. Bridesmaids offers what we love about these  It'll end up being forgettable, but let's be honest... Kristen Wiig is looking at a bright future.


8/10
-Kyle Shelton

Family Guy’s 150th Episode: Good Idea? Or Sh** Idea?

This may be a little late to the party, but did anyone catch Family Guy’s 150th episode spectacular?

Let me rephrase.

Did anyone catch Family Guy’s 150th episode (minus the spectacular)? In case you haven’t nor heard about it, it’s completely different from Family Guy’s usual fun, wacky, random and varied episodes in almost every way imaginable.

The plot revolves around Stewie and Brian being locked in a safety deposit room against their will. Without spoiling anything, a disgusting idea or two is thrown around, possibly executed, and the comedy ends there. Simply entitled “Brian and Stewie,” the two are the only characters seen in the entire episode. No cut-aways and no flashbacks throughout the entire thing.

This is interesting for a few reasons. First off, people often complain that Family Guy’s humor is always deteriorated to simply inserting some inane, irrelevant reference and cutting away to it, thus hindering any actual plot-related comedy. This episode strips that away completely, and people still complain… a lot. Now, I’m not saying the episode should win an Emmy or be considered the hallmark of the Family Guy series by any means… however, you can tell Seth MacFarlane and his crack-team of super manatees (South Park reference; you’re welcome) worked incredibly hard on this episode. No, there was no breakthrough animation as seen in other episodes (particularly this season’s premiere with the dimension-hopping), but its simplicity is its mastery. I know plenty of people turned this episode off not even 5 minutes into it, realizing that it was only going to immerse itself much deeper in the massive pool of boring, which at some points, it certainly did. I watched the entire episode, and found myself immersed deeper in the pool of character within Stewie and Brian. Towards the end of the episode, it’s blatantly obvious that the writers were attempting to reach an emotional depth never-before-seen in Family Guy. Could this be a sign of a more tightly-wound, balanced show? Or was this just an exercise in Press Coverage? Either way, this was a huge risk.

My personal view, you ask? Why thank you!

The episode wasn’t a complete loss for me, nor was it a complete win. The fact is, it’s incredibly difficult to successfully 180 a television show in one episode. This isn’t what anyone was expecting, and that’s part of the downfall. The dramatic pieces within the episode were pretty well handled (again, more towards the end), but much of it just didn’t feel right. Pretend you’re building a puzzle, and you put a piece somewhere that seems to fit, but you keep looking back at it because you’re not quite sure that’s exactly where it goes. “Brian and Stewie” missed its mark, but not by too much. I think MacFarlane can actually evolve the series into a way better show if he only did stuff like this on more subtle terms and eased his audience into it. This season overall hasn’t exactly been spectacular, so perhaps this was what it needed to shoot itself back up into the limelight. Whether that was for the better or worse, we have yet to see, as the season still isn’t quite over.

Date Night Review: Perfect for its Title.

Steve Carrell. Tina Fey.

That’s all you need to know about “Date Night,” in reality. The whole movie and its plot are just excuses to get these two comedy stars together and steal your hard-earned money in this terrible, human-destroying recession.
Alright, let’s not be dramatic. “Date Night” is the latest Hollywood machine-made romantic comedy starring 2 of TV’s biggest stars from 2 of TV’s biggest shows owned by TV’s biggest company (NBC). So what’s there to say?
Date Night, in all actuality, is much better than one might assume. Of course, seeing the names “Carrell” and “Fey” headlining a poster would catch your immediate attention and may persuade you into seeing it just for namesake; however, the movie is actually pretty well-written and witty, with some interesting innovation and well-handled action set pieces to break up the otherwise monotonous tyranny that is the “Romantic Comedy.”

The story revolves around a married couple, Phil and Claire Foster (Carrell and Fey, respectively). Both are extremely aware that their marriage has grown stale and boring, but neither wants to admit it. With some not-so-uplifting commentary from their friends who seem to have gone down the same route before, things eventually lead up to Phil wanting to take Claire out on an expensive but “different” date for once. They head to an upscale, trendy new seafood restaurant named “Claw,” where they are greeted with typical teenage hipster rudeness. Without a reservation, they patiently sit at the bar, hoping a table opens up, when A CALL TO ADVENTURE arises and Phil decides to take the reservation of someone else. Thus, this spins in motion the gears of fate, and Phil and Claire are mistakenly identified as the Tripplehorns (a recurring play on Jeanne Tripplehorn) by a couple of mobsters (Common and Jimmi Simpson) who are entangled in a big conspiracy to… well, watch the film to figure out the rest. The main plot is all standard “conspiracy” and “backstabbing” fare, most of which is fairly expectable. It really boils down to the more subtle nuances in the story, that is, the dialogue that really give this film life.

Fey and Carrell have an almost impeccable chemistry between them, and although they may not be the most believable couple, it's their wit and improvisation in various points in the film that give them such high likability. In fact, if it wasn’t for these two stars, Date Night would ultimately suck. In addition, the fact that they’re the only good thing about the movie won’t bother you until after you already saw it, where you’ll be questioning what the movie was even about. Think of “Date Night” as a television advertisement, wherein the product is the plot of the film and the gimmick is Fey and Carrell. You’re not going to remember what the hell was just advertised or why you should buy it, but you’ll remember to YouTube it later to show how funny it is to friends.

I’ve read many reviews on Date Night, and most seem to point out the awkward pacing between softer, dialogue-propelled moments and the adrenaline-rushing action sequences. Personally, I felt these blended very well, moving from one scene to the next without feeling like there was a humongous cinematic stake separating the various scenes. The best part, by far, involves a chase scene between the mobsters, Phil, a taxi and the police. Not only was this whole extravaganza of a scene exciting, but it was hilarious and actually memorable! Alas, a scene from a “Romantic Comedy” (of sorts) that was actually memorable that didn’t involve nudity!

But again, it is very difficult to truly critique a Romantic Comedy for more than its really worth. “Date Night” scores high points for its two fantastic leads, some memorable moments, fun cameos from Ray Liotta, Mark Wahlberg, James Franco, and Meg Griffin (Mila Kunis), and its ageless appeal. Strip all of that away, though, and “Date Night” is just another movie that you’ll forget even exists.

/10

-Kyle Shelton

The Proposal Review: Say 'I Do' ...but not so Fast.

What's better than putting two hot celebrities, both physically and popularly, together on the big screen during Summer blockbuster season? Have them get married and let hilarity ensue. The victims of such a shameful movie pitch: Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds.

But do they at least keep the marriage wagon rolling? Or does their love boat plunge into the depths of the abyss?

Well, thank the acting gods for Reynolds' charm and Bullock's cuteness.

The Proposal is a film about as deep as the surface of an above ground pool relative to sea levels...its not deep at all. Then again, what do we, as the unsuspecting movie public, come to expect from a romantic comedy starring two of the biggest stars in Hollywood? Andrew Paxton (Reynolds) is a journalist and assistant to his editing manager Margaret Tate (Bullock), whom everyone in the office hates with a fiery passion. One day, however, Tate discovers that her visa application didn't go through as planned, and is being deported back to her homeland of Canada. In a last minute, desperate effort to stay in the country and keep her esteemed job, she blackmails Paxton into faux-marrying her, to which he has almost no choice but to say "yes." That same weekend, though, Paxton's grandmother is celebrating her 90th birthday, so Paxton and Tate both have to live with eachother for a weekend up in Paxton's native Alaska with his family and bare the good news to everyone.

Hilarious, right? Well, that's just about the entire storyline right there, leading up to the ending...you know, the whole "So do they get married or not? Does the family find out?" scenario. Luckily enough, "The Proposal" isn't a bad film. While its not the most thought-out or heavily developed movie, its still charming, charismatic, and entertaining and provides fun, gimmicky flare all around.

"The Proposal" certainly passes the test of awkward comedy with flying colors...if the slapstick and cutesy interaction between Bullock and Reynolds don't tickle your funny bone, then the situations they're constantly thrust into will. The connection between the two leading roles will certainly hold your interest because you just won't be able to look away. In fact, even though Bullock plays the office-boss bitch, you'll probably find yourself rooting for them to get together in the end. And why not? They're both funny in their own ways and mesh perfectly together. Specifically, Bullock's lovable yet scathing portrayal of the uptight, mean manager will win you over, especially by the end. If you don't already like Ryan Reynolds, then he might just win you over in "The Proposal," albeit not his best work.

It stands as a fun, light, comedic romance, but there's just a few useless ingredients mixed into this subtly sweet apple pie. For example, the role between Paxton and his father provides no insight into either character nor their relationship, and its never explained why they're the way they are. This interaction could have easily been much more entertaining, but it falls as derivative and distracting. Same goes for the Paxton family name, showing them as a wealthy family business which doesn't account for any integral part of the storyline.

At his core, Paxton is a pretty 2D character besides some slight nuances. Tate, however, evolves slowly throughout the film at a nice pace. What doesn't change at a nice pace, however, is the relationship between the two. While its fun to laugh at their high jinks on-screen together, its almost completely sudden when any shift in their relationship takes place. It would have been more engaging to actually feel when they started being angry or complacent with each other rather than just see it happen at one moment.

And, well, as a whole its a bit difficult to really critique "The Proposal" for more than what it is: just a romantic comedy. Ultimately forgettable, but temporarily lovable. Also, kudos for having Betty White play the grandmother.

6.5/10

-Kyle Shelton

Dead Snow Preview: Chilly Nazi Zombie Action. I dare you to say no.

There you go. The trailer for a good Nazi zombie gorefest that hits U.S. theaters this Friday is out. Its been out, actually, but those silly Europeans hogged the movie all for themselves for 6 months. Not okay, Norway. (ha.)

Anyway, that is the trailer for Dead Snow, a Norwegian horror movie about a group of friends who find out that the snowy wonderland they vacation to is actually a history-filled Nazi death site...and they want their Nazi gold.

Well, apparently it was a huge success and cult hit at Sundance last year. But, current reviews point otherwise, as it stands at an above average but relatively even 56% of the Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer. Personally, I'm a huge fan of zombie movies, zombie games, and zombie fiction in general (and zombie non-fiction too! You know, like Lazarus or Joan of Arc!). Also, I enjoy Nazi mythology...if you're Jewish, I apologize whole-heartedly but its true. Naziology (just made that up) is pretty fascinating and interesting. Hitler was a crazy fool, and I pity the fool...

Okay, enough with the corny jokes. Dead Snow looks to be one of those cheesy horror flicks that you'll probably laugh at more than jump from, but it still looks intense and in the vein of maybe a Sam Raimi production. Dead Snow seems like its great fun all around with a funny and ridiculous premise with the execution of a B-movie schlock-and-awe feature. I can't wait to see it so it can ease Mein Kampf in life right now...
Yes, that is the actual poster. Yes, this is a real movie.

...Exactly.

-Fuhrer Kyle

The Hangover Review: Tastefully Tipsy or Drearily Drunk?

And alas, the director of Road Trip and Old School, Todd Phillips, comes to us with yet another raunchy, bromance-filled sexcapade of drunken misadventures and an over-the-top propensity to say "Oh my God" with the perfectly titled "The Hangover." However, do we really need another movie about all those good times at college blown up into an even more adult form? Haven't we developed this formula time and time again? Is "The Hangover" just beating the drunk dead horse over and over again?

Nope. Glad to say, this is the one Hangover you'll actually enjoy.

The story of "The Hangover," as you would imagine, follows a group of odd-coupled friends celebrating their buddy's wedding by having a boisterous bachelor's night in Sin City itself, Las Vegas. But, when Alan, (Zach Galifianakis) Doug (Justin Bartha), Stu (Ed Helms), and Phil (Bradley Cooper) end drinking too much, they all wake up not having a single clue as to what happened the night before. What makes matters even worse is that Doug is getting married in two days, but when his friends wake up, they realize that he goes missing and spend the 2 days (including the day of the wedding) ruthlessly searching for him. After waking up in the villa they rented, they find a tiger in their bathroom, a burned chair, a suspended footrest, Stu missing a tooth, and a slew of other ridiculously random situations to deal with. In an effort to rescue Doug before the wedding, keep the whole vacation a secret from everyone back home, and figure out what exactly went on the previous night, they backtrack from the clues they find in their villa and it becomes a story of mystery and comedy seamlessly meshed together.

The script written up for "The Hangover" is so clever and well-thought that its hard to believe that it was concocted for what would, otherwise, just be a stupid frat-boy comedy thrill ride. What we get as an audience is actually a commemorative comedy to show that not all simple slapstick and schlock has to be mediocre, monotonous, and just plain dumb. The film pulls punchlines almost every other phrase and never lets up; there's not one moment of lull in the entire film. In fact, if you think there's a part that seems not as funny as the rest, give it about 10 seconds and something hilarious will ensue, guaranteed. What most impressed me is how quick the jokes were...almost like there was no cheap setup for any of the comical scenes, physical or verbal.

Alongside skilled writing is the work of the actors themselves. No, they're not winning Oscars for their work, but keeping in tone with the film, they perform spectacularly. Their characters are so believable and it truly seems that each character was developed almost exclusively for the actor that played each. Each of the main characters have a real sense of charisma about chemistry between them and the story, while far-fetched, is believable from their interactions and the continuously quick and cunning comedy.

However, "The Hangover" isn't perfect in any regard. While the actors have real personality on-screen, they were a little hard to really delve into considering their back-stories and connections to each other were hardly touched on. The film never describes how each of them really met each other and/or why they're friends, especially considering each of them seem like they would never actually be friends in real life (from their immediate character traits). What's more is that the characters themselves aren't really drawn out all that well; its hard to really sense what each character is truly like. When someone can assess almost immediately what a character is going to do next, they form a bond with that character; they learn and feel who that character is. In "The Hangover," it really seems as if a bunch of shallow ne'er-do-wells were thrown together randomly for a preposterous night in Vegas. In short, there's no real depth to the characters and, thus, you never truly get an attachment to any one of them.

Alongside this, I had a bit of a trifle with one particular scene near the end which is built up through the entire movie. Without spoiling it, its something that is foreshadowed and alluded to plenty of times, and when the moment of the occurrence finally arrives, it really isn't as dramatic, engaging, funny, or climactic as it should've been. But this reflects the entire conclusion as a whole...once the resolution of the initial conflict starts to take place, you realize that there was nothing to really look forward to the entire movie. You were just awaiting the next joke or the next silly antic to come across the screen rather than actually, anxiously, expecting something to happen.

But then again, what else have you come to see from a light-hearted silly movie about friends and their crazy adventures? "The Hangover" pretty much serves up exactly what you were expecting, if not more. Its hilarious, quotable, and immensely memorable in all the right ways and holds up as this year's Knocked Up or Old School. Now if the writers of this collaborated with Judd Apatow and his team, we might get something truly epic. Until then, keep your morning after pills handy for this film because its going to be one hell of a night.

7.5/10

Drag Me to Hell Review: Dragged to Horror Heaven.

Ever been told you're going to hell? Or been told by someone in extreme disdain "Go to hell!" Well, next time someone says that, reply "gladly."

Drag Me to Hell is the latest horror flick from Spiderman and Evil Dead director Sam Raimi. Why is this a big deal? Sure, he directed the Spiderman series which was fun and great, but he's returning to his horror/suspense/B-movie roots that he has grounded in the Evil Dead series that has become so iconic both as cheesy entertainment and truly frightening jumps. But, does he still have a taste for demonic decadence? Or has the B-movie master gotten lost in lament?

Fear not! Or fear so! Raimi is back and just as good as ever!

Drag Me to Hell follows the story of Christine (Alison Lohman), a loan officer who is awaiting a very prestigious promotion at her bank firm. When an old woman named Mrs. Ganush (Lorna River) comes in asking for an extension on her housing payment before repossession takes place, Christine sympathizes and consults her manager (David Paymer) who tells her its pretty much up to her. Christine then decides against Ganush's wishes and declines her payment, after which the old lady begs her and causes a dramatic scene...only to come after Christine later and place a ravenous curse on her that will drag her to hell in 3 days. Christine doesn't realize this until she sees a fortune teller (Dileep Rao) who foresees her horrible fate and instructs her on ways to dissuade the satanic demon named Lamia from ripping her soul to the down under (and I don't mean Australia).

Phew.

As one can imagine, panic and horror ensue as poor Christine is challenged with ridding her life of this demon, comforted only by her loving boyfriend Clay (Justin Long) who doesn't believe in the paranormal nonsense that the teller feeds her.

What most people need to realize before seeing Drag Me to Hell is that its not exactly a horror movie, nor is it completely a B-movie romp like Evil Dead was. Those looking to watch it with the expectations of getting scared in the same manner as The Ring or The Grudge will probably be disappointed. However, if you go in with low expectations and appreciate the pitch-perfect pacing of the direction, you'll thoroughly enjoy yourself and exude excitement and anxiety for Raimi's next flick.

So you'll probably want me to stop beating around the bush and just tell you if Drag Me to Hell is a good movie. From almost any aspect, it is. The cutting, editing, and usually abrupt style of direction Raimi uses enthralls the audience and literally pulls you in as it throws a paranormal punch right at your face at the perfect moment. The jump scenes are plenty, and while they're expected and foreseen rather easily, they still manage to chill you and freak you out. But perhaps the freaking out wouldn't be due to the jumps so much as it is to the gross-out factor the movie retains, and herein lies Raimi's signature over-the-top preposterousness that put him on the map 20+ years ago. If you're not jumping back at a demon with sharp teeth, you'll jump back at the certain spewing fluids that come out of certain places and end up in other certain places.

That being said, the combination of the obvious scare moments, repulsive audacity, and trite yet giggle-worthy dialogue make for what is easily the most entertaining movie thus far of 2009. Its not perfect, and this is primarily due to Raimi's style that has worn off over time...even though the predictable scares are an integral part of the structure of this style of film, it really diminishes the scare factor that could otherwise really scare the bejesus out of you. Also, the volatile scenes, although appreciated for their involvement with the audience, become a little too much near the end of the movie. No matter what, you'll still jump back, cover your mouth, and utter obscenities at how disgusting what you're seeing is, but the entertainment of it gets a little tedious (especially when you're awaiting a freakish scare).

All in all, Drag Me to Hell is certainly a fun movie and crafted to a predefined, strong structure that Raimi so carefully developed. However, its appeal may be limited overall as the scares aren't as scary as they should be and the comedy isn't as comedic as it could be. At times, Raimi's flick seems like its not sure if it wants to be B-movie, ridiculous flare or if it actually wants to solidify itself as a rock-hard thrill ride. While it may not succeed 100% in any of these areas, it certainly is one "hell" of a ride...and you just might get car-sick.

7.5/10

-Kyle Shelton