Glee Turning to Gay-lee Very Very Fast.

[SPOILER ALERT: The following paragraph(s) contain spoilers on the storyline of the series up to Season 1, Episode Episode 18, “Laryngitis” of Glee.]

Glee is probably now the most successful new show of the last television season for multiple reasons. First, it’s immensely different than most shows. Second, it’s a genre-blending mix of emotions. Third, everyone loves a good cover track.

Whether you like the show or not, I don’t think you can safely deny the fact that it is certainly starting to become way too preachy. The last episode, “Laryngitis,” was all about being true to you and who you are and all that fun stuff we’ve been told by Nick Jr. for the last 20 years. In addition, this whole “Kurt being a victim” thing has to end, immediately. It’s great that the media as a whole is accepting homosexuality and other used-to-be taboo topics, but Glee is starting to push how much anyone really cares about it. Gay or not, Kurt is a great character with a great voice, and Chris Colfer (the actor who plays him) is excellent; the story about his dad accepting him as being gay is just too much. From the get-go, his dad was very accepting and even moreso than most real-life parents are. So why does Kurt keep playing the victim? If anything, Kurt is a villain. He takes his “straight crush” on Finn to the next level by creepily matchmaking his own father with Finn’s mother (both of which are single due to a dead spouse) so he and Finn can be closer to eachother. Inevitably, this blows up in his face, making him extremely jealous of this new found bond between his father and Finn.

This last episode wasn’t “bad,” per-say, but it definitely isn’t the best choice to show someone who’s never seen the show before. The side-story that quickly started and ended in the most hastily paced side-story of all time about Puck’s using of Mercedes to reclaim his popularity served as merely an excuse for the two to have a duet, fill some Fox time, and place Mercedes back in her lowly Glee Club spot. Cheap. Oh and let’s not forget the quadriplegic who reminds Rachel that there’s more to life than just her singing. Again, this was a side-story that started and ended almost too fast, and you can probably bet you’ll never be seeing the bed-ridden football player again… or at least not any time soon.

So, here’s to tonight’s episode bringing back the Glee in my heart for the series. What do you think about the last “Glee?”

New Pokemon Starters Not So “Black & White”

Nintendo and the Official Pokemon Black & White website have recently announced the 3 new starter Pokemon that will begin the next generation. Just like in every good handheld Pokemon game ever made, you're given the option of 1 of 3 special, exotic Pokemon to start your epic adventure around color-coded towns in a faux Japanese continent.

Have you seen them yet? Here they are:

Now, who’s ready for some speculation? Smiling Emoticon.

Here’s what you can pretty much tell (especially from the thousands of fan sites who already foretold every possibly detail of the new games). The one on the far left is the Grass-type, the middle one is the Fire-type, and the right one is the Water-type. Their Japanese names have been released, as well: (from left to right) Tsutaja,the “grass snake Pokemon,” Pokabu the “fire pig Pokemon,” and Mijumaru, the “sea otter Pokemon.”

Let me start off by saying that Mijumaru looks like an apathetic, lonely terribly diseased fetus. While the evolved forms for each of these haven’t been released yet, I sure hope the water otter gets a little hotter. Personally, I think Tsutaja looks the coolest so far, and is bound to have interesting evolutions; it’s also the more sly-looking one out of the bunch, sacrificing its cuteness for to-come badassness. Then Pokabu is… well, it’s cute I guess. I’m sure its final evolution will be some Mamoswine-sized behemoth with tusks and a volcano spewing out of its nose or something. As of right now, I’m not terribly impressed with the new designs, save for Zorua and Zoroark from a while back who look pretty cool (despite Dark-types being the black sheep of the Pokemon types).

I believed Generation III to be the weakest entry in the Pokemon foray so far, mostly due to poor new design (and a terrible plot). Generation IV, more or less, made up for it, but nostalgia aside, I yearn for the days of Red and Blue or even Gold and Silver. They were simpler times yet infinitely more enjoyable times, and though it may be obvious that Generation V is only going to add and complicate things further, hopefully it begins to get rid of some of the more ridiculous aspects (like Pokemon moods/natures) in favor for some supremely awesome features (like interspecies FUSION… or something).

So let me know what your thoughts are: are the new starters cool? Are they lame? Is one more dopey looking than the others (cough Mijumaru cough)?

New Call of Duty “Reveal” Trailer

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You love Call of Duty. Don’t lie. You simply can’t deny you supreme infatuation with headshots, paybacks, and noob-tubing anyone and everyone and getting awarded for it. You also probably love gloating about how much better you are at it than everyone and their mothers.

Well, if you were starting to maybe-kinda-sorta get tired of Modern Warfare 2 (blasphemy), Treyarch has already started development on the new Call of Duty game set in the Vietnam war era. Entitled “Call of Duty: Black Ops,” it’s striving to be different from the past set pieces, considering this is the first in the series to have that specific setting. A teaser trailer has already been released and hints at some sort of possible “rescue” mission-esque story, but it looks just as intense (if not moreso) than Modern Warfare 2 did. Luckily, a new, more detailed trailer will be shown on May 18th during the NBA Eastern Conference Finals exclusively on ESPN.

While Call of Duty’s releases are usually momentous, games like Call of Duty 3 and Call of Duty: World at War were less than a spectacle upon release. The first 2 and their expansions, and of course the Modern Warfare duo were HUMONGOUS deals, especially by comparison… and so, I’m going to call it out and say that Black Ops is not going to be anything spectacular, critically nor commercially.

What do you think?
Comment!

Renewed and Boo’d: Fall 2010’s New Season of TV.

Love Lost? Too bad, it’s going to end on May 25 for good (for now). Love Modern Family, Chuck, Glee, Family Guy or How I Met your Mother? You’re in luck! From TVGuide.com, here’s a list of the shows officially being renewed for the Fall 2010 – Spring 2011 season:

30 Rock (NBC)
90210 (CW)
The Amazing Race (CBS)
American Dad (Fox)
America's Next Top Model (CW)
The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
Bones (Fox)
Brothers & Sisters (ABC)
Castle (ABC)
Chuck (NBC)
The Cleveland Show (Fox)
Community (NBC)
Cougar Town (ABC)
Desperate Housewives (ABC)
Family Guy (Fox)
Friday Night Lights (NBC)
Fringe (Fox)
Glee (Fox)
Gossip Girl (CW)
The Good Wife (CBS)
Grey's Anatomy (ABC)
How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
Law & Order: SVU (NBC)
The Middle (ABC)
Modern Family (ABC)
NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS)
The Office (NBC)
Parks and Recreation (NBC)
Private Practice (ABC)
The Simpsons (Fox)
Smallville (CW)
Supernatural (CW)
Survivor (CBS)
Two and a Half Men (CBS)
V (ABC)
The Vampire Diaries (CW)

How Super will Super 8 Be?

J.J. Abrams, you’ve done it again. In case you’re not entirely aware of who J.J. Abrams is, he’s one of the executive heads behind TV’s power-player Lost and the director of Cloverfield (amongst other works, of course). Just like Cloverfield had a mysterious viral marketing campaign back in 2007, the newly endowed “Super 8” seems to be following in its big brother’s footsteps.







The newly released teaser trailer shows… this:



Let’s recap:
Something about an Area 51 alien or mutated creature seems to be lurking on a train. The train, according to the captions, was supposed to transport extremely vital material to Ohio from Area 51. Obviously, something bad happened as someone yelled out, and the two vehicles collided. Weird, Cloverfield Jr. baby monster then allegedly escapes from its confines, and it was recorded on none other than an old, “Super 8mm” camera. For the uninitiated, we’ll call that an old person camcorder. For the heavily initiated, this may be wrecking your mind, as a catastrophic even such as this being told through the lens of a super 8mm camera can only be described as “ridiculous.”

And, of course, who could miss that great name drop right in the middle of the trailer? Mr. Steven Spielberg is producing the film alongside Abrams’ direction, which tells you that this is going to be one monster of a movie! There’s your pun for the day.

Anyway, speculation from various sources says that this is supposed to be a heavily special effects-laden affair with a 70’s and 80’s feel of filmmaking to it, much like Spielberg achieved in his golden age with films like Indiana Jones. However, special effects doesn’t necessarily mean “computer-generated” special effects…thus, what I’m hoping for is a film that harkens back to a Jurassic age of animatronics, puppetry, and real-life machinations rather than relying on CGI and green screen.

No release date has been set as of yet, but the budget is purportedly in the $50 million range. This is 4th grade lunch money compared to most computer-made films of today, so this will certainly be interesting. Abrams has already gone on record stating that this film “…has nothing whatsoever to do with Cloverfield…” according to an NYMag article.

As an additional little tidbit of Abrams apparent obsession with encryption, he apparently sent out the reel for the trailer in special canisters that required a special code to crack open. I wouldn’t be surprised if his mansion was just one gigantic Rubik’s Cube.

Should Greyson get a Chance?

If you haven’t heard of 12-year-old Greyson Chance yet, you probably don’t get on Facebook or watch Ellen very often. The 6th grader is a piano-playing singer from Oklahoma who rose to interweb fame with his rendition of “Paparazzi” by Lady Gaga at a talent show-esque event. He was recorded, uploaded to the celebrity-spewing machine YouTube, and now he’s gone viral with over 2,000,000 views.
In case you have a life, this is the now famed video:



[Note the incredibly lackluster faces on the girls behind him. These same girls are probably kicking themselves in the face for looking so trollish on a now internationally-spread video. Ha!]

If you are like me and like to lurk on the computer all the time, then forego that video and tell me what you think about Greyson Chance. Why? Well, if you Google his name into… well, Google, you’ll see a cornucopia of websites chanting that Mr. Chance is the new Justin Bieber.

For the record, I’m not sure how famous or how long someone has to be famous in order for them to have a “new” version of themselves. A “new” Michael Jackson or a “new” Madonna would make sense, but Justin Bieber has been renown now for barely a year, and to this day plenty of critics foresee him as a passing fad (cough, Ke$ha, cough). Regardless, I beg to differ that Chance is the “new” Bieber, not because I believe Bieber to be uber talented in any regard, but because I actually don’t think Chance will make it as the new rising young musician. He’s alright, I guess… he’s certainly not terrible. However, people complain about Bieber and the likes of Miley Cyrus as not knowing what “love” is and them not retaining the proper experience or social permission of peoples over the age of 16 to make gazillions of dollars. Why should this kid be any different? If anything, he deserves less of a reason to make it big considering he’s skyrocketed to fame by rendering a cover of someone else’s song.

Luckily, though, he has written, both lyrically and musically, two other songs entitled “Broken Hearts” and “Stars.” This is great, knowing that he doesn’t just have a cover of another song to back up his blossoming career; however, give a listen to the other songs and see whether or not he truly has a commercial future with his music. Personally, I don’t think he’s that great… obviously I’m taking into account that in these videos, it’s just him and his piano with a video camera watching, so he doesn’t have Grade-A producers or (God forbid) an autotuner to make him sound spectacular; and of course the fact that he’s only 12 doesn’t help his cause much. He definitely has potential, but for some reason, people around the world are already calling him a child prodigy and that. just. isn’t. true.

But, again, tell me what you think. Is he really that great? Comment wars, hooo!

Shia LaBeouf Defends 3rd Transformers Installment, Abashes 2nd.

I’ve never been a fan of Shia LaBeouf. I can’t help but feel that he’s overestimated in almost every film he’s appeared in. To this day, even, I think his best film was Holes (which isn’t saying much because I don’t even like Holes that much).
If you know me at all, then you know that I absolutely abolished Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Michael Bay hasn’t exactly been the most prolific director in recent memory or anything, but this was just… awful. You can see what I mean in my review of it by clicking here.

However, it’s nice to see Mr. LaBeouf actually saying something worthwhile. He recently told Associated Press these statements concerning the dreadful 2nd installment:

“When I saw the second movie, I wasn't impressed with what we did, there were some really wild stunts in it, but the heart was gone.  

       
…we got lost. We tried to get bigger. It's what happens to sequels. It's like, how do you top the first one? You've got to go bigger. [Michael Bay] went so big that it became too big, and I think you lost the anchor of the movie. ... You lost a bit of the relationships. Unless you have those relationships, then the movie doesn't matter. Then it's just a bunch of robots fighting each other.”

He went on to say that this next movie is either going to be the “craziest action movie ever made” or he and the rest of the Transformers team have failed.

All personal gripes aside, to try and make the “craziest” action film of all time is a pretty wild aspiration, even if you’re working with some tech-junkie like Michael Bay. The word “craziest” is a bit ambiguous, because that could simply entail more explosions in 90 minutes than had ever been accomplished or quite possibly the best, most well-rounded action movie ever. Then again, it seems a bit stupid for LaBeouf to say that he wants to make the next film the “craziest” considering he just bashed the last one for, essentially, being too crazy.
We’ll see what happens with the next, apparently “bloodier” Transformers movie. Kill me in the face for saying this, but I’m probably still going to watch it…

Fun Craigslist Posting: Hip Swinging after having Sex = Problem? (NSFW)

The text reads:

"Why do I swing my hips from side to side when I walk after getting fucked? I don't want to, but I can't help it, I can't control it, the muscles just feel loose, like it’s hanging, and pretty much moving by itself. Guys tell me I have a sexy hip swing in my walk. I don't like when some guys stare at my hips and my ass, it's just annoying. Recently I was fucked by this guy who had an incredibly big and thick cock, and I noticed my hips sway even more. Is it true that if you let bigger cocks fuck you, your hips will swing even more when you walk? Why does this happen? is there any way to walk straight after getting fucked? or do I just to have to get used to walking like a slutty girl? The sad thing is that guys tend to think you're a slut and that you've been fucked by a lot of guys because of the way you walk. They wanna fuck you because they think you're easy, when in reality you're been fucked by only one guy that just happens to be well endowed. Any advice? Thanks. "

Now, I’m not sure how many people typically have this problem, but if you do, seek a Cocktor or Physical Therafist immediately.

Family Guy’s 150th Episode: Good Idea? Or Sh** Idea?

This may be a little late to the party, but did anyone catch Family Guy’s 150th episode spectacular?

Let me rephrase.

Did anyone catch Family Guy’s 150th episode (minus the spectacular)? In case you haven’t nor heard about it, it’s completely different from Family Guy’s usual fun, wacky, random and varied episodes in almost every way imaginable.

The plot revolves around Stewie and Brian being locked in a safety deposit room against their will. Without spoiling anything, a disgusting idea or two is thrown around, possibly executed, and the comedy ends there. Simply entitled “Brian and Stewie,” the two are the only characters seen in the entire episode. No cut-aways and no flashbacks throughout the entire thing.

This is interesting for a few reasons. First off, people often complain that Family Guy’s humor is always deteriorated to simply inserting some inane, irrelevant reference and cutting away to it, thus hindering any actual plot-related comedy. This episode strips that away completely, and people still complain… a lot. Now, I’m not saying the episode should win an Emmy or be considered the hallmark of the Family Guy series by any means… however, you can tell Seth MacFarlane and his crack-team of super manatees (South Park reference; you’re welcome) worked incredibly hard on this episode. No, there was no breakthrough animation as seen in other episodes (particularly this season’s premiere with the dimension-hopping), but its simplicity is its mastery. I know plenty of people turned this episode off not even 5 minutes into it, realizing that it was only going to immerse itself much deeper in the massive pool of boring, which at some points, it certainly did. I watched the entire episode, and found myself immersed deeper in the pool of character within Stewie and Brian. Towards the end of the episode, it’s blatantly obvious that the writers were attempting to reach an emotional depth never-before-seen in Family Guy. Could this be a sign of a more tightly-wound, balanced show? Or was this just an exercise in Press Coverage? Either way, this was a huge risk.

My personal view, you ask? Why thank you!

The episode wasn’t a complete loss for me, nor was it a complete win. The fact is, it’s incredibly difficult to successfully 180 a television show in one episode. This isn’t what anyone was expecting, and that’s part of the downfall. The dramatic pieces within the episode were pretty well handled (again, more towards the end), but much of it just didn’t feel right. Pretend you’re building a puzzle, and you put a piece somewhere that seems to fit, but you keep looking back at it because you’re not quite sure that’s exactly where it goes. “Brian and Stewie” missed its mark, but not by too much. I think MacFarlane can actually evolve the series into a way better show if he only did stuff like this on more subtle terms and eased his audience into it. This season overall hasn’t exactly been spectacular, so perhaps this was what it needed to shoot itself back up into the limelight. Whether that was for the better or worse, we have yet to see, as the season still isn’t quite over.

Date Night Review: Perfect for its Title.

Steve Carrell. Tina Fey.

That’s all you need to know about “Date Night,” in reality. The whole movie and its plot are just excuses to get these two comedy stars together and steal your hard-earned money in this terrible, human-destroying recession.
Alright, let’s not be dramatic. “Date Night” is the latest Hollywood machine-made romantic comedy starring 2 of TV’s biggest stars from 2 of TV’s biggest shows owned by TV’s biggest company (NBC). So what’s there to say?
Date Night, in all actuality, is much better than one might assume. Of course, seeing the names “Carrell” and “Fey” headlining a poster would catch your immediate attention and may persuade you into seeing it just for namesake; however, the movie is actually pretty well-written and witty, with some interesting innovation and well-handled action set pieces to break up the otherwise monotonous tyranny that is the “Romantic Comedy.”

The story revolves around a married couple, Phil and Claire Foster (Carrell and Fey, respectively). Both are extremely aware that their marriage has grown stale and boring, but neither wants to admit it. With some not-so-uplifting commentary from their friends who seem to have gone down the same route before, things eventually lead up to Phil wanting to take Claire out on an expensive but “different” date for once. They head to an upscale, trendy new seafood restaurant named “Claw,” where they are greeted with typical teenage hipster rudeness. Without a reservation, they patiently sit at the bar, hoping a table opens up, when A CALL TO ADVENTURE arises and Phil decides to take the reservation of someone else. Thus, this spins in motion the gears of fate, and Phil and Claire are mistakenly identified as the Tripplehorns (a recurring play on Jeanne Tripplehorn) by a couple of mobsters (Common and Jimmi Simpson) who are entangled in a big conspiracy to… well, watch the film to figure out the rest. The main plot is all standard “conspiracy” and “backstabbing” fare, most of which is fairly expectable. It really boils down to the more subtle nuances in the story, that is, the dialogue that really give this film life.

Fey and Carrell have an almost impeccable chemistry between them, and although they may not be the most believable couple, it's their wit and improvisation in various points in the film that give them such high likability. In fact, if it wasn’t for these two stars, Date Night would ultimately suck. In addition, the fact that they’re the only good thing about the movie won’t bother you until after you already saw it, where you’ll be questioning what the movie was even about. Think of “Date Night” as a television advertisement, wherein the product is the plot of the film and the gimmick is Fey and Carrell. You’re not going to remember what the hell was just advertised or why you should buy it, but you’ll remember to YouTube it later to show how funny it is to friends.

I’ve read many reviews on Date Night, and most seem to point out the awkward pacing between softer, dialogue-propelled moments and the adrenaline-rushing action sequences. Personally, I felt these blended very well, moving from one scene to the next without feeling like there was a humongous cinematic stake separating the various scenes. The best part, by far, involves a chase scene between the mobsters, Phil, a taxi and the police. Not only was this whole extravaganza of a scene exciting, but it was hilarious and actually memorable! Alas, a scene from a “Romantic Comedy” (of sorts) that was actually memorable that didn’t involve nudity!

But again, it is very difficult to truly critique a Romantic Comedy for more than its really worth. “Date Night” scores high points for its two fantastic leads, some memorable moments, fun cameos from Ray Liotta, Mark Wahlberg, James Franco, and Meg Griffin (Mila Kunis), and its ageless appeal. Strip all of that away, though, and “Date Night” is just another movie that you’ll forget even exists.

/10

-Kyle Shelton

Miley Cyrus is a Bird.

First of all, congratulations to me for updating and reworking my entire blog. You’re welcome.
Just. Kidding.

But seriously, you’re welcome. Too much stuff has been occurring recently in our media world for me to just sit here and let it all… well, occur. And so, one of the biggest new things to hit the interwebs is Miley Cyrus’ new video; more importantly, Miley Cyrus’ new look.

The video for “Can’t Be Tamed” premiered about a week ago on E!, demonstrating Cyrus’ new direction in her music career: aka, trying to sound like everyone. else.






Aside from a random little cameo from a Lady Gaga impersonator, Cyrus’ new song sounds like someone took all of Britney Spears songs from both Blackout and Circus, ate them and threw them up all over Ms. Montana’s edgier alter-ego.
Let it be known she’s also extremely sexual in the video. I wanted to make a point of this because, as we all know, Miley Cyrus is a cute little towngirl from Tennessee who sings about living a double life and finding love.

Then she breaks out with a song about how she, more or less, hates that life, and wants to be free and do what she wants. That’s great and everything, but you don’t have to be a slut to do it. Cyrus can be seen sensually touching herself in her 12-year-old nether-regions, and her lyrics come off as quite conceited mixed with a touch of whore. For example:

“Every guy everywhere just gives me mad attention 

Like I'm under inspection, I always get the 10s 

'Cause I'm built like that 

I go through guys like money flyin' out their hands”

With all these boys barking up her tree, you’d think she wouldn’t have time to be writing a song. Then again, we all know the Achey-Breaky one-hit-wonder Billy Ray Cyrus (Miley’s dad for those of you who actually have lives and don’t follow this), primarily wrote all of her old songs. Something tells me he’s evolving from managing, loving, helpful father to pimp-daddy very very fast. Let’s not forget Miley’s magazine cover shoot where she was NAKED, with her father’s graceful and ever-watchful eye simply watching.

Then, of course, it was finally revealed that Miley Cyrus is a bird. So, that’s fun. In the beginning of the video, a nicely dressed banquet host introduced Cyrus as a creature thought to be extinct, “Avis Cyrus.” I’m not kidding. Then all of these rejects from Britney Spears' “Circus” video and Rihanna’s “Disturbia” video appear out of nowhere and start groping Cyrus, cheering her on to be as promiscuous as humanly (or birdly) possible.

Back to the important part though, what do you think? Do you think Miley Cyrus’ ridiculous new direction in her music is good or bad? I can’t help but feel like she wants to ride the Britney/Ke$ha/Cascada/Lady Gaga/Christina Aguilera bandwagon by using some more dancey-clubby synthesized music than her usual pop-rock, mildly country persona she retained before. Then again, you know this song is going to get played at clubs, and the ever popular “I hate the artist but love this song!” quotes will be spewing from everyone’s mouths, including mine.

-Kyle Shelton