Salt Review: Left me Dry.

Who is Salt?

That’s a mighty fine question to pose, movie poster. I’m still not entirely sure who Salt is, except that I know she just wants to be the “good guy.”
Thus, Hollywood has churned out yet another relatively shallow “blockbuster” star vehicle by the name of “Salt.”

The story, to the best of my ability to comprehend, is about a woman named Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie, as if you didn’t know) who’s accused of being a Russian sleeper agent in the U.S. She leads a normal life as a good ol’ American citizen working for the C.I.A. when a Russian man named Orlov (a man whose name I’m just too lazy to look up) is captured and interrogated. Upon this interrogation, he spills the beans that Salt is a Russian spy and that she’s going to kill the Russian President when he comes to visit America on behalf of the American Vice President’s death. Oh, and she has a husband who is really into spiders, whose existence in the film is almost completely useless save for one pivotal point about halfway through. That's just shoddy writing, and is about as close to a deus ex machina as you can get without literally being called a deus ex machina.

Anyway, as you can guess, she runs away and everyone in America is out to get her. Her bff Ted (Liev Schrieber) plays dumb throughout the entire chase and truly believes that Salt is innocent.

Of course, until she tries to assassinate the President of Russia. AT A CHURCH of all places. She really knows how to put the "fun" in "funeral."

But I digress, scenes like that are what make Salt a deliciously fun film. Campy at times, Salt is enthralling, and with a tagline like "Who is Salt?" you'd have to be a complete idiot not to realize that there's going to be at least one huge twist in the film. Then you discover that there's about 4. Then you come to terms with the fact that Salt goes from being really cool and slick to just ridiculous.

SPOILER:
Why is it ridiculous? Just like the "SPOILER" in all caps reads, you may not want to read this paragraph. If you're still reading, you've been warned. The point where boy-next-door Ted decides to go Postal and SMG the bejesus out of EVERYONE in the President's war room is when I just felt violated and confused. The twist was interesting (if not foreseeable), but it went way too over the top. I'm a fan of over the top. In fact, my favorite action movie of all time is Grindhouse and it really doesn't get more over the top than that. But you're telling me than a man who's entrusted with sitting next to the President of the United States in a confined and highly isolated room while launching nuclear warheads at any country he so chooses can just waltz around and shoot every single person in there without so much as a scratch on his knee?
:END OF SPOILER

Anyway, Salt has its moments of boldness when it comes to how far it is willing to push you until you finally say "Okay, really?" That has nothing to do with how she defies physics as she seamlessly jumps from car to car on a busy highway... it's all in terms of story. A man whom the Central INTELLIGENCE Agency is believed to be a foreign terrorist cannot just walk into their headquarters armed with a knife, kill two of their finest employees, then just walk out never to be heard from again. That just doesn't happen.

Jolie does a fine job with the script she's given, and she should be commended. She still stands as one of our favorite Femme Fatales in the movie biz, and she's not losing that status any time soon. Then again, it's hard for anyone to remember a tried and true "good" movie she's been in that wasn't all hyped up just because she was the star. Salt is yet another cinematic endeavor that comes out during Summer, people will most likely love for a week, and then be forgotten in the disarray of past Summer action blockbusters we all dearly knew. That's pretty much all there is to it. Salt is great the day you see it, pretty good the following week, then it's easily replaced by another film of the exact same quality.

Salt is a gimmick. It's not necessarily bad by any means of the word, but it just won't transcend any standards or become the new "Die Hard" franchise we should be so ready for. It hardly does anything new, its main driving force is Jolie and the only reason anyone will "like" the film enough to refer it to friends is because it presents several twists that some of us will see coming a mile away and some of us will suspend our disbelief long enough to pretend we didn't see it coming a mile away. From an action standpoint, Salt was frenetic and fun in all the right places. From any other standpoint, Salt falls flat.

-Kyle Shelton
5.0/10

Kick-Ass Review: Kicks Ass or has its Ass Kicked?

How was Kick-Ass, you ask? Well I would tell you exactly what I loved and hated about but, oh, I'm sorry, I was too busy shifting towards the edge of my seat being extremely careful that I didn't plunge to the depths of the movie theater floor for the last 30 or so minutes, therefore COMPLETELY blinding me of my likes and gripes. I left the theater wanting to obliterate the ears of nuns by uttering fantastic expletives, followed by slitting their throats and shooting at their beloved sisters.

Sadistic? Get used to it. If you're going to see the latest comic/graphic novel – turned – film, you need to have an open mind and morbid sense of humor to fully appreciate it. As I said, I left the theater feeling like a complete lunatic, and I still feel the same way. Thus, trying to put aside how bad-ass Kick-ass was-ass (lol), I'm going to put into words my humble (but indisputable) opinion about the long-awaited comic book parody.

Kick-Ass (based on the graphic novel of the same name by Mark Millar) tells a tale of an innocent do-gooder named Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson). Dave is your typical misfit teenager who exists unnoticed to everyone around him except his father and his two best friends (of equal merit). He decides to be a superhero named Kick-Ass, perplexed by the idea that no one has tried it quite yet considering the millions of comic book-lovers out there. Witnesses see him saving someone from a group of thugs, and he is recorded on a cell phone camera; from there, he goes viral, sets up a MySpace account for the needy to contact him, and becomes a sensation around the city. Shortly thereafter, a young girl named Mindy (Chloe Grace Moretz) and her father Damon (Nicolas Cage) assume the heroic titles of Hit-Girl and Big Daddy respectively, and somewhat join forces with Kick-Ass to rid the city of crime. Meanwhile, a corrupt mob boss named Frank D'Amico (Mark Strong) is running a city-wide drug running syndicate and becomes the prime enemy of these three heroes. His son, Chris D'Amico (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) simply wants to follow in his father's footsteps and take over the business [off which he has no idea the real business of].

Thus, wheels are set in motion and the train tracks to climactic oblivion run wild. Leave your logic and normalcy at the front door, because once you get passed the "average Joe" introduction we all know and [sometimes] love, your imagination takes over and takes you for a kickass ride (the "Kick-Ass" puns don't stop here).

The real star of the show here is Hit-Girl, despite the title. In fact, the main character shouldn't have been named Kick-Ass because it seems that the only character who really "kicks ass" throughout the whole film is Hit-Girl. She's what you love to see and can't wait to see again. In between the doses of ultra violence and crowd-pleasers, you have subtle jabs at the comic book industry as a whole and plenty of wishy-washy college-grade comedy to go about.

AND OF COURSE THERE'S A ROMANTIC SUB-PLOT. I'm not exactly sure how many times I've mentioned in previous reviews how inane I believe romantic sub-plots to be, but regardless… I think they're pretty inane. They're rarely necessary and, in this case, it just excuses the film for being a frat-boy clap-a-thon whenever someone cops a feel. Fantastic, we have a movie about super awesome ass-kicking super heroes and we get American Pie-esque moments of sexual drive to high five our Tau Delta Phi Zeta Flip Flop Beer Football Chi Omega brothers. Cool.

But, then again, these moments kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind of fit in only because the whole point of the film is seeing your every day kid in a not-so-every day situation (you know, being a super hero and single-handedly fighting crime and surviving… well you'll see). So these few scenes are okay… I guess… but this brings me to the awkward pacing the film retains. Often. Too many moments exist in the film where just too many emotions are mixed simultaneously: you'll feel enraged, sad, and then want to laugh at some ridiculous moment of comedic relief and you're not quite sure which of these feelings you want to exert the most. Considering the film is a… let's see, Revenge Action Comedy Drama Parody Adaptation, you'll have your Multiple Personality Disorder-inflicted hands tied quite a bit. There's nothing wrong with mixing genres and whatnot, but all in the same moment? No thank you, I want to feel for a character without having to see something dumb to remind us it's not necessarily a "serious" movie, but with a name like "Kick-Ass," I guess it's only appropriate for it to remind us, huh? Might as well call a movie "Shitty Titty Bang Bang" and just spontaneously infuse moments of mixed seriousness and silliness just so we think it's a serious movie, but get the idea that it's not… at the same time.

I digress, by now you've probably stopped reading the last paragraph (since you're reading this one) due to my over-explaining of my feelings. But unfortunately, the pacing and awkward moments were a big part of what dragged down Kick-Ass for me.
Although I said the star of the show is Hit-Girl, actor-wise, Nicolas Cage really steals it. Thank you Nicolas Cage (or your terrible but temporarily forgiven agent) for finally picking a film that people actually want to see AND like. In all seriousness, though, Cage definitely lends a pretty fun and enjoyable character in Big Daddy from start to finish.

The script is great.

Yeah, that's about it. It's great. It's not terribly, well, terrible but it's not the most fantastic possible piece of work ever conceived either. I would've liked to see a few more Easter eggs and jabs at comic books, adaptations, etc. but for what I got, it wasn't bad. Unfortunately, a big chunk of the film was a bit predictable, but it also had its fun twists. So really, when it comes to the writing, for every bad thing there was an equally good thing to coincide.

The direction was great, though, especially some scenes that you can just tell were incredibly tricky to film and film well. Throughout the course of the movie, there are a few blatant comic book-inspired parts (like titles in classic comic book form) and even a whole back-story told through a cool (but cheap) comic run-through. You know you have a problem when you have to flat-out tell the audience something and use some glitter and glam to make said audience forget how cheap you're being. I'm sure any die-hard Kick-Ass graphic novel fan will knock me for this (all 3 of you), but I apologize for reviewing the film [moving picture] version of a book.

Anyway, the film is extremely enjoyable especially if watched with friends. I haven't read the graphic novel, but the story was actually pretty good and posed some interesting questions to its viewers. Sure, it was predictable and a bit cliché at times (and involves AN UNNECESSARY ROMANTIC SUB-PLOT), but had enough turns around the plot to redeem itself. But any critic will also have to realize that Kick-Ass is a film that does its own thing. It's not trying to be a big (daddy) cult hit (girl), win any Oscars or really gain any super-prestigious prize… it's just trying to be Kick-Ass, and it succeeds. The moments of visceral violent glory are worth the wait, especially the extremely climactic ending. Nothing in the film, in spurts, is particularly perfect, but overall it's a fun popcorn flick that certainly sits above the rest as an action film with focus and boldness. Sure, the gimmick here is the 11-year old schoolgirl blurting the F-bomb all over the place as she eviscerates thugs with various death-dealing weapons, but the gimmick works. Chris' character (eventually becoming Red Mist) could've used a little more work and development, but they all could have in the end. Dave is just like any other movie you've ever seen, practically, Chris isn't focused on enough, and although a lot of time was spent showing the dichotomy between Hit-Girl and Big Daddy, they kind of just abruptly end their depth after a certain point and each of them leaves you wanting more. However, as I stated in the beginning of my review, you're going to want to scour eBay for some cool-looking attire and pick up a few weapons from the local pawn shop and… well… Kick Ass.

7.5/10
-Kyle Shelton

Fun Fact: Brad Pitt produced the film. Neato.

The Baader Meinhof Complex Review: Baadass, Yet Complex Indeed

The Baader Meinhof Complex...this is a film you may not have heard of, but you will hear more of in the coming future. Because it's so good? Possibly, but I was referencing the "Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon: as a joke. You probably didn't get it.

Unpopular allusions aside, The Baader Meinhof Complex is spectacular, if only too spectacular. A skin-deep judgment of the film (i.e. from a trailer) may give you the impression that it's an action conspiracy flick with almost no historical base. The truth is, it's actually about one of the biggest yet mostly unheard of historical events in international history, specifically in Germany. As it states in its trailer(s), Baader Meinhof Complex is about the original "terrorists" and how they can be skewed in stories as being both heroes and villains.

Cinematically, the film is beautifully shot and graced with some spot-on editing. Action sequences are handled exceptionally well, given that most action is actually not too action-oriented. If you're looking for Matrix-caliber highway chases, you won't find them here. Instead, you will find high-tension shootouts between members of the criminal "Red Army Faction" and the police, shootouts that really linger for a while and let suspense take hold.

In addition, dialogue is lengthy at times and may roll to a dull droll, but ultimately, the overall story is handled very well. It can be a bit complex for some (especially since the events were very complicated politically) and many may even see the information influx as an overhaul. At times, this is true; the story gets a bit muddled and the fact that it's a foreign-language film, meaning having to look at the bottom of the screen every 3 seconds or so, doesn't help. Sitting atop the grandeur of complexity sits the 80 zillion or so characters. Mainly, you'll have Andreas Baader (Moritz Bleibtreu), Gudrun Ensslin (Johanna Wokalek, Ulrike Meinhof (Martina Gedeck), Rudi Dutschke (Sebastian Blomberg) and Holger Meins (Stipe Erceg), but in addition, there are a ton of sub-characters that fall below the RAF hierarchy. Then you have the plethora of political figures who play their major parts as well as their relations to several other figures (like even more political leaders and family members) only in addition to the Arabian subset of RAF-helpers. But, the main 5 are really the instrumental pieces to the puzzle, and that's where the film mainly focuses.

It's also a bit difficult to tell whether you may like or dislike the altering views on the RAF; half the time, the RAF heads are made to look like gods, fighting against tyranny and oppression. Then, when looked at from the point of view of the government and average civilian, they are made to look like the most evil of the evil. Essentially, once you get attached and love any given character on the RAF side, their mortality and likability are stripped away by how the news portrays them. Personally, I found this method of character development immensely intriguing. Baader Meinhof Complex examines a lot of themes, and one of the main ones is the role of media in politics, a role that so sharply defines society.

Whether or not you actually pay attention to the subtext, you find the movie to just be a cool and slick type of film...at least for the first half. The RAF builds itself up steadily, slowly gaining new members and carrying out various acts of anti-establishment, then, in a really shocking mid-story climax, the tables are turned and their fall becomes the center of focus. Ironically, for a group that essentially poses anarchy as a way to fight the government, it is soon seen that the heads of such an anarchist group are what led it to greatness in the first place.

There seems to be virtually no real soundtrack to the film, as most moments are covered by dialogue between characters. Transitions are filled with various television and radio broadcasts, feeding the audience tidbits of information on the aftermath and reaction of/to the events that preceded them. This is a rather effect method of story-telling. The film clocks in at an overwhelming 150 minutes, which feels both too long and too short for its subject matter, so it only feels natural that they would include transitional periods coupled with forced information.

Overall, what you get in The Baader Meinhof Complex is a mixed bag that may confuse some, alienate others, but be loved by many. Nominated for the Best Foreign Language Film at the Academy Awards, it stands tall among American films as a striking revisiting of what could be called the base of modern terrorism. Characters are great yet far too many, the subject is intriguing, the action scenes are tense and the story is fantastic, if only a bit cluttered in some areas. Certainly worth the watch, but don't expect it to be a straight action ride; it's a good mix of intelligent political thriller with crime drama and action interspersed.

8.0/10
-Kyle Shelton

Falling Down Review: Fallen Down over the Years, but not so Far

How could anyone hate the 90’s? Tacky, mismatched clothing, the emergence of boy bands and the age of radical toys; the 90’s also gave us quite the decade of fantastic films, if not memorable ones. “Falling Down” may not fall into the first category, but most definitely the latter.

Hence, Falling Down is a vividly memorable and electrifying experience through and through. Why? Because it’s incredibly simple and completely aware of itself, devolving itself into just plain entertaining. Sure, it doesn’t have the intricate machinations of a deliciously compelling script, nor does it have the visual flare and incredibly strong lead performances, but it certainly has tension and just enough plot to get you going.

At its core, Falling Down is about a man simply known by his trademark license plate as “D-Fens” (Michael Douglas) who gets fed up with society as a whole and starts a vengeful rampage through the city towards people who, quite simply, piss him off. His ultimate goal is to get to his estranged ex-wife’s house to see his baby daughter for her birthday. All the while, a retiring cop named Martin Pendergast (Robert Duvall) is hot on his trail at the police station, being the only person in his precinct who pieces together the chain of events.

There’s really not much to write about when it comes to this film, because as I stated before, it’s incredibly simple. What it does and wants to do, it’s almost perfect at: pleasing the crowd. You’re going to see your share of annoying, pretentious antagonists who get in D-Fens’s way, but they all get their just desserts soon enough. The heightened and almost surreal way each of these characters hateful characteristics are built up are the ultimate (and classic) formula for a great set-up and payoff connection.
Michael Douglas gives one hell of a performance and perfectly encompasses the average Joe’s personal hatred for the everyday mundane annoyances. In fact, D-Fens ends up going on his spree simply because he’s sitting in his extremely hot car in halted traffic, something that would get on anyone’s nerves (albeit not setting anyone off in the same way).

My only gripe with the film is this: 1st off, the film switches intermittently between D-Fens’s crime spree, which is infinitely exciting, and Pendergast’s precinct scenes which halt the fun action and turn the film into an unnecessary bore. In addition, there’s an emotional and sympathetic drive behind D-Fens’s actions which ultimately don’t work, mainly because the emotional climax of his workings doesn’t hit until the very end, when it’s too late to really care. Had Falling Down been more of an experiment in B-Movie formula and stuck to its over-the-top middle-class reaction story of revenge against normalcy, it would’ve succeeded. However, I feel as though Joel Schumacher tried to make this more of a rounded, complete film…which it is, but it becomes a mixed bag of feelings toward the end. You get a mild rush of sympathy, but it should’ve been built up way more (or not at all, in my opinion). As for Pendergrast’s plotline, he really only seems like a character thrown in just to complete the plot, which is really a waste because a 2-character framework would have been really interesting if it was done…well, interestingly.

And so, Falling Down is a great film to watch when you just feel like watching a film for the hell of it. It’s especially great to watch in groups or to show to fellow movie-lovers who haven’t seen it yet. I’m sure if I had seen it when I was younger, I would have loved it; unfortunately, Schumacher’s early revenge story just doesn’t hold up to the times.

6.0/10
-Kyle Shelton

Chocolate Review: Oh so Sweet

Chocolate, the new film from Prachya Pinkaew (director of Ong-Bak) is the type of martial arts flick that comes very rare to us these days, in that (at least for American audiences), it has no big name actor (like Tony Jaa, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, etc.) and has an overly simple yet immensely intriguing plotline. Far too many martial movies seem to just tell a tale of revenge, and while this is a mild running theme in Chocolate, it features quite the nifty star whose motives are a little bit different.

A woman named Zin (Ammara Siripong) separates from her yakuza-involved husband Masashi (Hiroshi Abe) and has a daughter named Zen (Yanin Vismistananda). Zen, while still a young baby, has problems developing her brain correctly, thus becoming autistic because of it. One day, a few years after Zen is born, Masashi comes back to find Zin at her house. Still enraged that she left him, she cuts off her toe as a reminder of his wrath; soon after, Zin also finds out she has cancer. Her nephew, Moom (Taphon Phopwandee) lives with her and her daughter for a time to help take care of them both. Zen ends up watching various martial arts films and, living next door to an academy for Muay Thai students, learns a slew of skills from them. Her trick is: she can learn all of these wild and fantastic skills simply by watching them. One day, Moom comes across a little black book with names and addresses of people who owe Zin money. They decide to peacefully collect on their debts to help pay for Zin’s hospital bills. Upon visiting each venue, the men responsible are less than friendly in their responsibilities, causing Zen to…well, you guessed it: beat the shit out of them.

This is the main plot throughout the film and becomes more engrossing as the film moves on. In many respects, the film isn’t all too original or different, but it’s a little creative for giving the protagonist a sort of mental disability. Then again, who looks at these films for their story, right? What we want is action…and there’s plenty of it.

Just from this film, it’s easy to tell that Vismistananda is going places with her insane performance in Chocolate. Her stunts are brilliant, and I’m not sure if I should applaud her or the choreographer for this…so I’m just going to praise both. The action is fast, furious and relentless. You may not get crazy bullet dodging or roof jumping (although there’s a fantastic sequence near the end that takes place all while scaling the side of a building), but what you do get is a more down-to-Earth feel of fighting. There aren’t too many elaborate stunts, yet the simplest ones of jumping from box to box or flipping over a chair seem like beautiful pieces of art. More than once, for sure, you will say “Oh my God” at the sheer “badassness” of several feats. Not to mention the fact that there’s plenty of humor mixed into the foray of violence; this is hard to describe unless you just see it yourself.

All in all, the action pieces are fantastic are masterfully carried out while the story is a bit shallow, but definitely enough to keep your attention. I felt a connection with Zen and Zin and felt real emotion at certain points in the story, which is pretty uncommon for straight martial arts movies. The tale between the daughter and mom is an empathetic one as we see cancer arising in the media more and more these days, and the fact that the daughter has an impairment herself only gives the story a heightened emotional feel. With that, Chocolate is a great action movie that doesn’t overstay its welcome and may be an underrated treasure amongst foreign films of the past year.

7.5/10
-Kyle Shelton

Angels & Demons Review: The Holy Scavenger Hunt...Again.

The DaVinci Code gave us, the public, quite the shock with such antagonizing views against the Catholic Church that made us question faith and organized religion as a whole. Then, we realized it was a fiction conspiracy story no more elusive than the Bourne series. Silly us...now we have the follow up to Robert Langdon's atheistic ventures with yet another unholy happening in a holy setting: the death of a pope in Vatican City. But wait, there's more! The large Hadron collider in Sweden now plays a role in this yarn of Yahweh...so does Angels & Demons connect on a more personal and interesting level?

Well, if you've seen/read The DaVinci Code (or ever participated in an Easter egg hunt) then there's not too much to look forward here.

First off, the pope dies in Vatican City and its time to choose a new one...but who? As a congregation of cardinals discusses candidates, 4 of the top choices are subsequently kidnapped (along with a vial of antimatter from the Hadron complex).

Quick side-note on antimatter, if it comes into contact with, literally, anything, it will cause "violent" disturbances in our space. Its suspended in a vacuum-tight capsule which the kidnappers use as their threatening weapon in Vatican, much like a bomb, if their demands aren't met (along with killing the 4 kidnapped candidates for the papacy).

Who better to decrypt the mysterious threats and save the day than Harvard symbology professor Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks)? Oh, yeah, the physicist who holds the secrets to destroying the world via rapid atomic collision, Vittoria Vetra (Ayelet Zurer). Alas, our story begins when Dr. Langdon is summoned to the Vatican to follow the legacy of the fabled "Illuminati" from times past and locate the 4 papal successors, along with the devastating device of doom, and save the world from disarray, accompanied by the Vatican police and Vittoria.

Well, Angels & Demons certainly kept up with the pacing of DaVinci Code, in the sense that its relatively relentless in its "Hurry before the Rapture ensues!" timing. Tom Hanks returns as the snarky yet incredibly and conveniently lucky guesser Dr. Langdon. Though, personally, I've never been a huge fan of Hanks, he returns in good form, reprising a relatively likable and entertaining character.

As for the plot, well, its based on a book so its hard to criticize the story without having read its source. However, I can say that it literally is just one humongous scavenger hunt that seems to never end. Langdon goes to a library, second-class female assistant supporting actress finds a clue, they dash to the scene which contains an angel pointing them in the direction of the next clue, OR DOES IT?! This formula gets repetitive to the point of menial chore. At one point, I found myself hammering to just get on with the ending and see who becomes the new pope. Even kids get sick of long scavenger hunts after a while...especially if the prize ultimately isn't worth it. Lucky for us, though, we don't know what our prize is!

Also, the message of combining scientific research and discovery with religious faith and credibility seems to be the big recurring message in the movie. Its warm and heartfelt, but really, it doesn't do a great job of conveying this idea emotionally (especially with all the horribly static characters, including Langdon).

Running a 2 hour and 20 minute length, Angels & Demons repeats the same formula as DaVinci code. It certainly pulls you in, like a fisher does to a hungry fish. However, after a while, that fish will get tired and probably just give up, so in this case, it depends how hungry you are for this sort of thing. If you absolutely love Dan Brown, DaVinci Code, or religious conspiracies in general, you'll probably enjoy Angels & Demons. If you less than love any of those 3 categories, than this will ultimately become a forgettable forte' into Summer blockbuster cash-in. Angels & Demons remains a "fun" movie, but perhaps not for the $7-$10 of your hard-earned cash to see something that will thoroughly entertain you in and out.

5/10

-Kyle Shelton