Toy Story 3 Review: Never Leave this Toy Behind.

Rarely do films get the recognition of being “perfect” in anyway whatsoever. Even more rare does a series of films gain the same accolade. Pixar, however, is the one studio that I would expect to see a perfect film and/or film series emerge. Toy Story is one of those films that you just might have grown up with, whether you were a child, a teenager, or even a parent who watched it with your family. No matter the age when you first saw Toy Story, chances are you instantly fell in love with the concept and all the characters; doesn’t hurt that it was the first computer generated feature film ever.

Up from the first Toy Story came Toy Story 2, equally beloved on almost every possible standpoint. Now, to be honest, I have only seen Toy Story 2 once and that was when it first came out… when I first watched it, I didn’t particularly enjoy it all too much. This may not be fair, though, because I probably didn’t know how to appreciate things as much when I was 10 years old. Still enjoyed it, but not nearly as much as the first.

Fast-forward ELEVEN years (yes, it’s been that long), and the final addition to the Toy Story saga is released to the masses on June 18, 2010.

Ever so rarely, ever so once-in-a-blue-moon does a film come around that garners that “perfect” emblem… and Toy Story 3 is that once-in-a-blue-moon movie.

To nitpick at Toy Story 3 is just like picking off pepperoni from your pizza, even though you love pepperoni pizza. Maybe there was just too much of it at any given point… and that might be the only real drawback of Toy Story 3.

The story deals with a lot of different themes, most notably the leaving of childhood toy connoiseur, Andy, to college. After turning 17, he leaves no room in his life for his toys, and thus has to choose between storing them in his attic, donating them to a day care center, or just throwing them away. Events lead to all of your favorite Toys from the other 2 films being sent to Sunnyside Day Care where they can be played with by infinite generations of children for eternity. However, a certain evil lurks behind Sunnyside as a tyrannical bear named “Lotso” (Ned Beatty) who tricks the Toys into living a miserable life tormented by ultra hyper, messy toddlers. Woody (Tom Hanks) ends up being the only Toy that Andy decided to bring along to college, but when he realizes what is happening to his fellow plastic companions, he risks everything to help them.

So I’m just going to get any negative things I have to say out of the way first (here comes the nitpicking). A lot of sequences in Toy Story 3 are cliché, simple. Too often you’ll be predicting exactly what will happen next and what will happen in the long-run. Plenty of scenes are also “been-there, done-that” scenes like typical cliffhangers and multiple twists occurring within a 5-minute timeframe. It also definitely feels a tad bit formulaic at times, which is mostly due to the predictability of it all.

Now I’m done being a jerk and beating up the kid everyone loves. Toy Story 3, while “formulaic,” is classically told and immensely engaging. From pulse-pounding start to heartwarming finish, you’re not going to want to leave your seat for even a second. All the characters you know and love are back, namely Woody, Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen), Rex (Wallace Shawn), Hamm (John Ratzenberger), Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head (Don Rickles and Estelle Harris), Slinky (Blake Clark) Jessie (Joan Cusack) and Bullseye… and, of course, the Pizza Planet martians.

It takes considerable skill to deftly blend elements of romance, horror, drama, action, comedy and elements of satire and perfect-pitch tongue-in-cheek parody, but Toy Story 3 managers all of this with near-perfection. It really is astounding in and of itself that Pixar can keep churning out ridiculously successful films, both critically and commercially, without missing a beat. Of course, all this mastery draws from one key sources, and that’s simply the lovability of all the characters. Each one has its own distinct personality and enough nuances to distinguish themselves apart so clearly. It’s hard to just pick one to be your favorite (although with a gun to my head I’d certainly say Rex), and that whole feeling just emanates love for the rest of the film.

Of course, Toy Story 3 introduces a slew of new characters, including a fantastic villainous bear and a metrosexual Barbie (Jodi Benson) matchup named… well, who other than Ken (Michael Keaton)?

Once you get passed how much you love any given character at any point in time, you realize that the story is perfectly paced and really pulls the punches when it comes to emotions. You’ll cry, you’ll gasp, you’ll laugh and you’ll cheer and you’ll have way too much fun doing it. Then again, this is Pixar… this studio just knows people. It knows how to make people exert all these actions at just the right time. Whatever stars aligned to bring together the development team behind Toy Story need to align more often (and fast, considering they’re apparently making a Cars sequel… not that there’s anything wrong with Cars, but it wasn’t my favorite Pixar feature and it boggles my mind that they’re making a sequel to what is probably the least successful Pixar film yet).

I digress. The action sequences in Toy Story 3 are intense, and there’s one point toward the end of the film that almost every single possible emotion to emote will be emoted emotionally. I can’t tell you what it is, of course, but it’s truly a moment of enlightenment. The last 10 minutes or so are really what get to you… for all of us college kids out there, the overall theme rings true and close to the heart, beset only by the fact that we grew up with this fantastic series and we must now see it end. ‘Tis a bittersweet ending, though, considering how extraordinarily beautiful the film is, both to the eyes and to the mind.

Whether you’re 1 year old or aging in a retirement home, whether you loved the first 2 films as a child or never really even got into the series, whether a fan of animated films or more edgy ones… Toy Story 3 has something for everyone. Being able to juggle all its themes, genres, and target demographics into one bombastically brilliant film, Toy Story 3 would be a contender for Best Motion Picture at the Academy Awards, and is thus far my favorite film of 2010. Disney-Pixar is just one grand ol’ studio.

10/10.

-Kyle Shelton

Lady Gaga’s Alejandro Video; AKA Dirty Army Nun.

Alejandro, as a song, wasn’t and isn’t my favorite of her repertoire. In fact, I still love Bad Romance and its… “multifaceted” video the most. Alejandro doesn’t feel like it has a true grasp on what kind of song it wants to be, and this is ever evident in the wishy washy new video.

Let me put out my exact thought: it’s not terrible (a la Telephone video), but it’s just starting to seem like Gaga just wants to push the envelope more and more, both with censors and with people’s liberal agendas. You can watch the video for yourself here and let me know what you think.

…Did you see it? Because I really hope you’re not a devout Christian. In the latest near-9-minute spectacle, Gaga can be seen being raped by several men with bowl haircuts in heels, dancing with 2 M16 machine guns strapped to her brazier, and deep-throating a rosary. Of course, this is all aside from her practically having rodeo sex with a chained up man, and there are a few Nazi references thrown around (most notably, the costumes of some soldiers).

Now I get some of the message about conformity, religion and government (and a possible response to the whole Westboro Baptist Church incident), but where do any of the lyrics play into this? Plenty of artists constantly put out music videos that are either completely unrelated to the accompanying song or are so veiled in “depth” that no one sees it. Alejandro is just another example of this; I thought the song was about Gaga having a lover (or possibly more) who she just wanted to hook up with and nothing more. Then we get homosexual Nazis in fishnet stockings.

But I digress; I’m all for some envelope-pushing censor slapping nonsense. In the context of the song and the video itself, though… it just feels weird. Of course, Gaga is no stranger to the odd, queer or downright mind-boggling, but where some of her videos feel more polished and refined, this one feels like a haphazardly slaphappy cornucopia of spontaneity. It progresses as though each scene was meant to be a “look how crazy this is” scene, topping each of the scenes before it. This might sound like it would be a pretty good pace, but it’s not. And if you’re a fan of Madonna’s at all, you might be offended at how Madonna-esque the video is, with the sexuality, hair, strange alteration to women’s underwear and black and white filters all referencing some of her 80’s work.

So really, Gaga’s most lasting legacy thus far is her disregard for normalcy and her obsession with the socially arcane (or, let’s say, batshit bonkers), which is fine and dandy but I’m afraid by her next single or album, she might just be pushing it too far. Again, like I said, I’m all for crazy and ridiculous, and the more over-the-top something is, the more I love it… however, it literally just feels like she might be trying too hard to be different. We get it Stefanie, you’re a deviant and you play by your own rules. That’s fine… but would it kill you to make a video that made sense for once? AND ONE THAT ISN’T A SHORT FILM DRESSED IN DRAG? I wouldn’t be too surprised if she put on that bird’s nest concoction she wore to the VMA’s and flipped pancakes with an anteater for 14 minutes and called it “Polka Dot Dragon.”