The Lego Movie Review

 Much like Her, people gave me weird looks when I said I was interested in seeing The Lego Movie and I'm not sure why. While you're on your 4th viewing of Frozen, I was eagerly anticipating this release for multiple reasons. Firstly, I love Legos. Everyone loves Legos. Legos are awesome. If you never played with Legos, you never had a childhood and therefore are pardoned for being so bitter about this movie.

Secondly, the cast is ridiculous. Chris Pratt (Parks & Recreation), Alison Brie (Community), Charlie Day (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia), Liam Neeson (Taken), Morgan Freeman (March of the Penguins), and even Shaquille O'Neal of Shazam fame head off this ambitiously frenetic movie about the classic toy.

Thirdly, if you watch a trailer for The Lego Movie, you'll notice that the animation is stunning. Stunning. The Lego Movie is a beautiful piece of visual flare that keeps you entertained and enthralled from the first second to the very last.

Fourthly, the characters include Shaquille O'Neal, Abraham Lincoln, Batman, Cleopatra, Medusa and all sorts of characters from your fever dream of historical fiction, giving us well-appreciated cameos in silly Lego form.

But don't be fooled: The Lego Movie isn't just about Legos. It's a fast, smart, witty action-comedy that delivers on so many levels. It's almost the perfect movie, to be quite honest. ANY demographic can watch this and be entertained, from the children who love to see their toys come to life to the adults who remember playing with them when they were younger, but it's not just about the nostalgia, either. The movie deftly blends slapstick and simple humor with edgier, adult-themed comedy to totally be effective in every way imaginable. It's self-aware, parodying and satirizing the most basic of plots while still concocting its own entry into the collection of Hero's Journey storylines.

While movies like Transformers make a killing at the box office, they are stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. They pander to the most basic functionality of our brains and senses to evoke "humor" and "excitement," but to me, they're stale. Too many big-budget action movies are released and immediately forgotten about, and I'm not entirely sure why Transformers is particularly successful. Just like The Lego Movie, the Transformers franchise is a commercial tie-in, using a third-party to drive interest and potential commercialism. Transformers feels like an old man from his death slumber to play catch with the grandkids whereas The Lego Movie is the cool dad, young and in-shape, ready to not just play catch, but to hit the beach and teach everyone how to surf.

This is a movie you can enjoy with your brain off or on; it's funny in all the right ways, from the way the characters move to the throw-away gags that relentlessly attack your funny bone in every scene. What's remarkable is how restricted the filmmakers truly were in their animations; after all, these are Legos, and while the possibilities are limitless for the young Lego construction builders of today, from a filmmaking aspect, Lego people don't move the way normal people move. Their faces are painted on, their legs don't bend, their arms move in a clockwise/counter-clockwise fashion and no other way. Their hands are cups. CUPS. And if these weren't enough to handle, remember that the movie takes place in a world where everything is made of Legos, from the buildings and cars to the clouds and water, and it's hard not to be impressed with how mind-numbingly creative the animators were with all their effects.

The coolest aspect of the film, to me, is the concept of the "master builders," a legion of people who can scope out various parts of the world and immediately recognize what can be constructed with these parts. To see this play out in the movie is electrifying, particularly in the chase sequences when you, as the viewer, are entirely sure that there's no safe way out of the situation only to see a character completely reconstruct a car or helicopter. It plays into the plot AND serves as a creative use for the Lego pieces themselves.

Before you begin to discredit the movie as a giant advertisement for Lego toys, this is a full-blown movie with a stupendous budget and a ridiculous amount of time, effort and perfectionism has been put into this to create something more. It's a movie that plays your heartstrings in varied ways and you can't help but smile throughout the whole experience. Like I said, children and adults alike can enjoy this movie for the same AND different reasons; this is how you make a kids' movie.

It's hard to find any serious faults. If you have any reservations, I promise you will not be disappointed if you finally decide to let out your inner 8-year-old and take a break from being a grown-up for 2 hours. The Lego Movie is beautifully animated, masterfully crafted from every aspect and has a pitch-perfect cast of actors and characters. It reignites my nostalgia and my love of going to the movie theater. It's straight up fun, and you'd be a block-head to sit through it straight-faced.

At the end of the day, I have one thing to say about The Lego Movie:

"Everything is Awesome!"

The Good:
+ Immensely entertaining
+ Stellar cast and characters
+ Energetic and gripping
+ Fun for everyone
+ Hilarious

The Bad:
- You will get one song stuck in your head for at least a week.

10/10

SPACESHIP,
Kyle

Frozen Review

Don't you hate when people hype things up? It almost always ruins whatever it is they're talking about for you. Like yeah, I know, Avatar wasreally cool in 3-D, and yes, Breaking Bad is the single greatest TV show of all time with impeccably-cast actors, heart-wrenching suspense, masterful pacing and dialogue and the best anti-hero/redemption story you've ever followed... WE GET IT.

Anyway, when I first heard of Frozen, I was extremely disinterested. Just seemed like another Disney movie. Then I saw the trailer, and I think it was the first time in the history of my cinematic endeavors when I was actually dissuaded even more by the trailer to see the movie. Up until its release, I thought the movie was about a mismatched, adventurous cutesy-Disney pair reluctantly working together to bring about the demise of the evil ice queen and save the kingdom while laughing at the hilarious antics of a reindeer and a talking snowman.

And I was right, except for the part about "evil" and "hilarious."

In case you were too busy seeking asylum in South America or fiddling around with the Obamacare website, Frozen is the latest flick from Walt Disney Animation Studios (NOT PIXAR for the billionth time) that favors CGI like Tangled and Wreck-It Ralph in lieu of traditional BORING 2-D animation like those stupid Snow White and Aladdin movies. What were they thinking, am I right?

But because children can't sit still for more than 12 seconds, we are constantly forced to trade in the values of interesting dialogue and diversified characters for 3-D, IMAX, CGI and other very short phrases that we, as adults, have to resort to (because we, as adults, also cannot sit still for more than 12 seconds).

I gave Frozen a chance because it was just a little ridiculous how much publicity it was getting, from being rated a 'Certified Fresh' 89% on Rotten Tomatoes to all of Facebook throwing riots if someone spoke ill of it.

I now understand why it received so much hype, and it upsets me. Because we've come to a point where children and adults have massive ADD/ADHD, most people are starting to catch on to the "save the princess" scenario that so many Disney movies utilize. Frozen's plot is less orthodox because it doesn't have a traditional "villain." The antagonist here is simply Elsa's inability to control her frosty powers.

Here's a basic outline of the plot:

1. Elsa and Anna are sisters who live in a castle.

2. Elsa has the power to control ice and snow, which progressively becomes more and more uncontrollable.

3. Elsa accidentally injures her sister, so her parents exploit the powers of trolls to erase Anna's memories and lock Elsa up in a room because that's what good parents do.

4. PLOT TWIST: The parents die. Very abruptly.

5. Anna and Elsa live on their lives being separated and Anna doesn't know why. Elsa, being the older sister, inherits the kingdom when she becomes an adult but doesn't want her subjects to know she's actually a member of the X-Men for fear of being labeled a monster, but things happen and everyone finds out about it and she runs away because the villagers basically go all Frankenstein on her so she sings a dramatic song and builds herself a pointy igloo to live out the rest of her days. LITTLE DOES SHE KNOW THAT THE KINGDOM IS NOW IN AN ETERNAL BLIZZARD, so even by running away, she's constantly fucking up. Elsa fucks up a lot in Frozen. Anna wants to help her and rekindle their sisterhood, so she chases after her and meets a guy and a reindeer and a talking snowman...

That's basically what you need to know. If it's a Disney movie that doesn't take place in modern times, you can bet it'll have a castle, dead/abandoning parents, talking animals/inanimate objects, and a villain that the heroes constantly run away from... oh wait, THAT'S what's different. No villain. The story revolves around the trek Anna and Kristof (the ice-miner, no, really) have to make to get to Elsa so they can stop the Winter from freezing everyone to death and ruining Kristof's business. Of selling ice.

Not all stories need a villain, and considering Disney is usually infamous for its witches and hunters enslaving humanity and killing things for no particular reason, this is a step in the right direction for their upcoming projects. I'm excited to finally not be able to call every single plot point (except for one big one that I don't want to spoil if you haven't seen it). The animation is also mind-blowing, save for some gimmicky "LOOK AT HOW 3-D THIS IS" moments. Particularly, the scene where Elsa is building her castle and absolutely slaying 90% of female vocalists in the world is such a wondrous and beautifully rendered few minutes that I simply could not look away. Her powers are also significant to the plot, so making them look incredible was a necessity, versus let's say Brave where Merida's hair jiggles more than other characters' hair jiggles.

The voice acting by Idina Menzel and Kristen Bell is perfect as are the rest of their songs; they're all very well-written and performed with excellent charisma and chemistry. Which is good, because they're the only two characters you end up caring about. Which, in turn, brings me to Olaf...

I'm all for comedic relief in a movie, but when you have a character that literally adds nothing to the plot and is just there to pander to the 5 year olds high on cotton candy, I have a problem. Yes he's cute and the slapstick is funny when you still think eating boogers is funny, but it dumbs down the rest of the movie to such a pitiful level that his moments were hard to watch. He has his own song, and there are moments where he is given considerable screen-time for very little payoff. I really detest when characters are inserted into a plot for either a deus-ex machina, a MacGuffin or comic relief when they don't offer anything else to the story. Frozen could've stood on its own without Olaf, and it already had the adorable antics of a mute reindeer to hold the kids over on the physical comedy front.

This following paragraphs contains a couple of big spoilers, so if you haven't seen the movie yet, skip it:

Then of course, a villain is revealed about four-fifths of the way through, because we can't have a movie that strays from the conventional AFTER ALL. A minor character introduced at the beginning turns out to have ulterior motives for his actions with Anna and it is revealed that he wants to kill Anna and Elsa and take over the kingdom for himself, lying that he and Anna get married. Despite having a few opportune chances to kill two princesses with one stone, he doesn't. Why? WELL HE HAS TO EXPLAIN HIS MISCHIEVOUS EVIL PLOT FIRST! I don't know if Disney thinks we're all too stupid to put a puzzle together, considering there's only a handful of pieces to it and it's just one solid color, but the hackneyed "explain my plan" thing has been beaten dead for years now, so much so that it's a huge part of Disney's Phineas & Ferb show. Do you understand? Disney makes fun of doing this in virtually every episode of one of its most popular TV series, but does it in the movie anyway. It's revealed when the only way to save Anna's life, after things happen, is for her to experience an act of "true love." Since keeping the PG-rating meant cutting the incestuous, bestial orgy scene originally intended, they had Anna try to kiss her would-be fiancee only for him to pull a slick "JUST KIDDING" and tell her he just wanted to bang her to inherit the royalty. And you thought all Disney princesses were sweet and 1-dimensional, huh?

Also, the villagers turn on Elsa once they discover her mutant powers without even giving her a slight chance to prove herself capable of running the kingdom. Elsa is also the only character seen or mentioned to have any sort of affinity for sorcery, and the origin of her powers is never touched upon at all. All the other characters react negatively without, seemingly, ever having seen or heard about such things before. Once everything is settled, the villagers act like nothing happened and love her again, just be-fucking-cause.

At the end, Anna almost dies trying to save Elsa from being killed as she is frozen solid for eternity. This happens because Anna gets hit by a powerful ice blast earlier in the movie and it slowly freezes her heart. As is heard exactly 2,005,432 times after this, "Only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart." Elsa has a bitch-fit about her sister being killed (god she's so dramatic) and gives her corpse one last hug, which in turn unfreezes Anna because it's an act of true love. This teaches Elsa that the only way to control her powers, apparently, is to let others in and accept herself and everyone around her for who they are. This makes no sense because if that really were the cure for her uncontrollable powers, she would've never had the issue to begin with because of her closeness with Anna and their parents when she was younger. At that point, the villain (and his fucking ARMY, by the way) has a chance to kill Elsa, but chooses not to because... dramatic pauses are crucial, I guess.

SPOILER over, continue on:

This movie would've gotten a high recommendation from me had it axed Olaf completely, done away with the 'big twist/reveal' towards the end, hadn't felt the need to repeat and explain certain points and cut the gimmicky 3-D portions. Perhaps the hype killed it for me and I felt the need to extract the most negative aspects of it, but I don't think my opinion would have been skewed either way. Frozen is still good and a step in the right direction for where Disney movies should be going, but it's one small step where it could've been a big leap.

The Good:
+Excellent voice acting and singing
+Incredibly animated and rendered
+Likable lead characters
+Unconventional for a Disney film

The Bad:
-Olaf.
-The "villain" and stupid plot twist
-Nonsensical ending
-Too much exposition
-The parents die for seemingly no reason and we are forced to watch the short scene where they die, very abruptly

6.0/10

Heart Not Thawed,
Kyle
PS. As with any opinionated article I post, I'm always open for discussion =)

PPS. If your argument is that “it’s a kid’s movie” and therefore shouldn’t be criticized or observed any deeper than face value, you have a very twisted mentality. There are plenty of “kids’ movies” that are great and don’t need to pander to the ADD in our youth to be so (like most Pixar films, How To Train Your Dragon, Howl’s Moving Castle, etc.). If this movie won an Academy Award, OR had I reviewed it more favorably, you probably wouldn’t have said anything like that, but your argument should still stand because whether I review it positively or negatively, I’m looking deeper into the film and criticizing it. This sort of argument would have to negate practically any film that’s rated under PG-13 for consideration of review in virtually any medium for it to work.