The Lego Movie Review

 Much like Her, people gave me weird looks when I said I was interested in seeing The Lego Movie and I'm not sure why. While you're on your 4th viewing of Frozen, I was eagerly anticipating this release for multiple reasons. Firstly, I love Legos. Everyone loves Legos. Legos are awesome. If you never played with Legos, you never had a childhood and therefore are pardoned for being so bitter about this movie.

Secondly, the cast is ridiculous. Chris Pratt (Parks & Recreation), Alison Brie (Community), Charlie Day (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia), Liam Neeson (Taken), Morgan Freeman (March of the Penguins), and even Shaquille O'Neal of Shazam fame head off this ambitiously frenetic movie about the classic toy.

Thirdly, if you watch a trailer for The Lego Movie, you'll notice that the animation is stunning. Stunning. The Lego Movie is a beautiful piece of visual flare that keeps you entertained and enthralled from the first second to the very last.

Fourthly, the characters include Shaquille O'Neal, Abraham Lincoln, Batman, Cleopatra, Medusa and all sorts of characters from your fever dream of historical fiction, giving us well-appreciated cameos in silly Lego form.

But don't be fooled: The Lego Movie isn't just about Legos. It's a fast, smart, witty action-comedy that delivers on so many levels. It's almost the perfect movie, to be quite honest. ANY demographic can watch this and be entertained, from the children who love to see their toys come to life to the adults who remember playing with them when they were younger, but it's not just about the nostalgia, either. The movie deftly blends slapstick and simple humor with edgier, adult-themed comedy to totally be effective in every way imaginable. It's self-aware, parodying and satirizing the most basic of plots while still concocting its own entry into the collection of Hero's Journey storylines.

While movies like Transformers make a killing at the box office, they are stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. They pander to the most basic functionality of our brains and senses to evoke "humor" and "excitement," but to me, they're stale. Too many big-budget action movies are released and immediately forgotten about, and I'm not entirely sure why Transformers is particularly successful. Just like The Lego Movie, the Transformers franchise is a commercial tie-in, using a third-party to drive interest and potential commercialism. Transformers feels like an old man from his death slumber to play catch with the grandkids whereas The Lego Movie is the cool dad, young and in-shape, ready to not just play catch, but to hit the beach and teach everyone how to surf.

This is a movie you can enjoy with your brain off or on; it's funny in all the right ways, from the way the characters move to the throw-away gags that relentlessly attack your funny bone in every scene. What's remarkable is how restricted the filmmakers truly were in their animations; after all, these are Legos, and while the possibilities are limitless for the young Lego construction builders of today, from a filmmaking aspect, Lego people don't move the way normal people move. Their faces are painted on, their legs don't bend, their arms move in a clockwise/counter-clockwise fashion and no other way. Their hands are cups. CUPS. And if these weren't enough to handle, remember that the movie takes place in a world where everything is made of Legos, from the buildings and cars to the clouds and water, and it's hard not to be impressed with how mind-numbingly creative the animators were with all their effects.

The coolest aspect of the film, to me, is the concept of the "master builders," a legion of people who can scope out various parts of the world and immediately recognize what can be constructed with these parts. To see this play out in the movie is electrifying, particularly in the chase sequences when you, as the viewer, are entirely sure that there's no safe way out of the situation only to see a character completely reconstruct a car or helicopter. It plays into the plot AND serves as a creative use for the Lego pieces themselves.

Before you begin to discredit the movie as a giant advertisement for Lego toys, this is a full-blown movie with a stupendous budget and a ridiculous amount of time, effort and perfectionism has been put into this to create something more. It's a movie that plays your heartstrings in varied ways and you can't help but smile throughout the whole experience. Like I said, children and adults alike can enjoy this movie for the same AND different reasons; this is how you make a kids' movie.

It's hard to find any serious faults. If you have any reservations, I promise you will not be disappointed if you finally decide to let out your inner 8-year-old and take a break from being a grown-up for 2 hours. The Lego Movie is beautifully animated, masterfully crafted from every aspect and has a pitch-perfect cast of actors and characters. It reignites my nostalgia and my love of going to the movie theater. It's straight up fun, and you'd be a block-head to sit through it straight-faced.

At the end of the day, I have one thing to say about The Lego Movie:

"Everything is Awesome!"

The Good:
+ Immensely entertaining
+ Stellar cast and characters
+ Energetic and gripping
+ Fun for everyone
+ Hilarious

The Bad:
- You will get one song stuck in your head for at least a week.

10/10

SPACESHIP,
Kyle

Shia LaBeouf Defends 3rd Transformers Installment, Abashes 2nd.

I’ve never been a fan of Shia LaBeouf. I can’t help but feel that he’s overestimated in almost every film he’s appeared in. To this day, even, I think his best film was Holes (which isn’t saying much because I don’t even like Holes that much).
If you know me at all, then you know that I absolutely abolished Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Michael Bay hasn’t exactly been the most prolific director in recent memory or anything, but this was just… awful. You can see what I mean in my review of it by clicking here.

However, it’s nice to see Mr. LaBeouf actually saying something worthwhile. He recently told Associated Press these statements concerning the dreadful 2nd installment:

“When I saw the second movie, I wasn't impressed with what we did, there were some really wild stunts in it, but the heart was gone.  

       
…we got lost. We tried to get bigger. It's what happens to sequels. It's like, how do you top the first one? You've got to go bigger. [Michael Bay] went so big that it became too big, and I think you lost the anchor of the movie. ... You lost a bit of the relationships. Unless you have those relationships, then the movie doesn't matter. Then it's just a bunch of robots fighting each other.”

He went on to say that this next movie is either going to be the “craziest action movie ever made” or he and the rest of the Transformers team have failed.

All personal gripes aside, to try and make the “craziest” action film of all time is a pretty wild aspiration, even if you’re working with some tech-junkie like Michael Bay. The word “craziest” is a bit ambiguous, because that could simply entail more explosions in 90 minutes than had ever been accomplished or quite possibly the best, most well-rounded action movie ever. Then again, it seems a bit stupid for LaBeouf to say that he wants to make the next film the “craziest” considering he just bashed the last one for, essentially, being too crazy.
We’ll see what happens with the next, apparently “bloodier” Transformers movie. Kill me in the face for saying this, but I’m probably still going to watch it…

2012 Review: Doomsday...now in Beautifully Rended CGI!

If you haven't quite marked your calendars for the end of days as we know it, you might have been anxious enough to look forward to the release of the film foreshadowing our demise, "2012." Whether you're a believer or not, chances are that your visual and thrill senses were tickled when you first saw the trailer for 2012 due to its sheer beauty retained in tsunamis, earthquakes, lava rain, fireballs, blizzards and explosions. When you get right down to it, no one was expecting 2012 to win any Academy Awards or even have a completely coherent plot; that includes the makers of the film. With that being said, 2012 is a dazzling spectacle of true computer-generated prowess...and not much else.

2012 is an overcooked cliche story about a washed up author (John Cusack) who wants to take his kids camping for a weekend. Being divorced from his wife (Amanda Peet), he's almost forced to see his children at least once in a while, which means having to see his ex-wife's new husband (Thomas McCarthy). Before this part of the story, however, the "scientific" explanation for the coming events is briefly reviewed as a breakthrough and devastating discovery is made in India. With this information, geologist Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) travels to the United States to alert the government. With that, disasters start building up around the world as all the various governments try to grasp what little real power they have left before all hell ensues.

2012 can be many things, but one thing its not is intelligent. The little scientific evidence the movie uses to make realistic forthcoming events is not only boring, but completely unnecessary. In fact, I can personally look at 2012 and think of a vast array of ways for 2012 to have been a cult classic, at least. Most highly is the droll and unimaginative storytelling and directing used to draw out the two-and-a-half hour exploit. There's nothing here in the way of creativity; it's mostly riding one gimmick and one gimmick only the entire way. It would have been infinitely more interesting to turn 2012 into a framework story or a more personal anecdote rather than a simple third-person "Oh shit" yarn. Overall, 2012 is just one big sadistic guilty pleasure. Sure, the CGI and real-world scares are one thing, but what a lot of people won't admit to being excited for are the millions of deaths and worldwide tragedies to be shown in such a film.

To its credit, 2012 does have a few moments of intensity and suspense...but not in a good way. In fact, 2012 is so cliche-ridden that every single moment of climax can be seen coming from 2000 years away. The inevitable cliffhangers that last for a whole minute, the big "decision-making" scenes, deciding who's going to die and who's going to survive...all of this is sheer amateurish at best. 2012 takes elements from other disaster films like "The Day After Tomorrow" (directed by Roland Emmerich just as 2012 was) and "The Perfect Storm" and then flattens them out to a shallow and mediocre work. The characters in the film are such cookie-cutter catastrophe contestants that its hard to really get attached to any of them. The film does try to mix in humor with sympathy, but ultimately fails. The love lies solely within the technology. So many tweaks could have been made to really make 2012 stand out as more than just a conspiracy cash-in, but that remains its fate for now.

The script is incredibly weak, the acting is sub-par if anything, the plot is riddled with cliche's and stupidity...alas, 2012 does have its one gambit. Its one ace-in-the-hole. Its one gimmick that works: disaster. 2012's CGI and computer effects are stunning and brilliantly executed. Usually, I am not a fan of films that rely heavily on the artificial art of computer engineering (Transformers 2...), but 2012 pulls off such sequences involving shattering buildings and crust destruction perfectly. The film's action portions feel like roller coaster rides and, to be completely honest, I wouldn't be surprised if Universal or Six Flags picked up a contract to build a 2012-themed coaster.

With a tv-show being produced and in talks, its no surprise that 2012 started a huge hype and will probably last for a while. 2012 definitely put a stranglehold on the disaster movie sub-genre; it placed barriers to entry for any other film posing identical events because all anyone cares about now is the rapture that is supposed to take place in 3 years. Luckily, 2012 is a disaster movie without being a disaster; if it hadn't been for Emmerich's flashy CGI, 2012 would have been pretty drop-dead terrible. Unfortunately, 2012 is still pretty bad, even for what it was aiming for. The masses may enjoy it, but the individual may not. 2012 is just an exercise in missed chances in the same way Zombieland was.

5.0/10
-Kyle Shelton

Transformers Revenge of the Fallen Review: Fallen Oh So Very Far.

The quintessential blockbuster cash-in has finally arrive...Michael Bay directs part two of the Transfomers saga, Revenge of the Fallen. Naturally, you'll probably go see it and be wowed like a kid at a Disney fireworks show...but does Transformers really have the umpf to propel it into an actual "good" film?

No.

Simply put, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is just a stupid movie all-around. Now, stupid doesn't necessarily mean bad, but Transformers has transcended the threshold of inconsistency and incoherent story-telling into the realms of just plain insulting.

The second installment in the Transformers revamp deals with Sam (Shia LaBeouf) and his leaving from home into the college life. He leaves behind his car/Transformer Bumblebee and his girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox). After inexplicably finding a shard of the "Allspark Cube" from the previous film, Shia is attacked by miniature Decepticons and realizes how important the piece is. Giving the remnant to Mikaela to keep safe, Sam goes off to college only to be followed by his beloved Transfomer companion Bumblebee, who informs him that there's trouble afoot. A mythical rogue robot known as "The Fallen" awaits patiently in space for the right moment to return to earth and engage a machine that will destroy the world by exploding the sun.

That's what the writers' strike of 2007-2008 will do to you, I suppose. And we're left with explosions out the yin-yang and Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots beating the bejesus out of each other for a good 2 hours. What's not to like, right?

First of all, if the story didn't seem lame and cliche enough, the actual dialogue that takes place is on the cheap and lazy side. Instilled humor within an action movie is nothing new, and we've come to expect that from a movie like Transformers, but when the comedy relies on raunchy jokes, stereotypes, or rehashed jokes from the first film for most of its humor, there's a problem. The writers had a serious falling out when they were writing this script...or perhaps they were just desperately trying to appeal to the mass media public that will pay any set price to watch things go boom and laugh at thrifty attempts at comedy. Sure, I laughed, only in good fun to keep in tune with the pacing of the film. But each time, I felt like I was dumbing myself down. A good portion of the jokes comes directly from two Transformers who act like stereotypical black thugs, gold teeth and all. Also, the level of cursing has risen significantly this time around...and its not even from the humans. No, its from the Transformers and Decepticons. Honestly, its just a bit sad to finally realize that everything that's meant to be funny in the film is only funny because they are performed by monstrous machines of destruction-dealing. That, folks, is a gimmick.

Speaking of gimmicks, there's almost as much product placement in the film as there are explosions. Now, with a Michael Bay film, you may think that's nearly impossible...but let's not forget the kind of budget Transformers was riding on and who its target audience is. Yes, teens, teens, and more teens. Enjoy the film, and also, go out and buy a new LG phone with digital television capability! Oh, and don't forget how fantastic Bad Boys 2 was because Michael Bay won't let you.

But yes, of course we have to give the nod to Mr. Bay for his fantastic and compulsory use of dynamite, fire, C4 charges, cannons, artillery, fireworks and matches...or whatever he uses for his special effects. Explosions galore are included in Transformers 2 and may even win the record of most explosions ever seen in a full-fledged feature film, at least by Bay. I wish I had mustered the nerve to actually count how many there actually were, but another nod goes to him for his cartoony immersion of the Transformers universe. Throughout the entire film, you will feel like you're watching a cartoon that's just updated. Although, some of Bay's direction techniques irked me, particularly his use of the Sun in several shots that seemed pointless and distracting. I'm not really sure how many times you would have to pan across a conversation with the Sun glaring at you to get this point across: the Sun exists. We get it, Michael Bay. Thank you.

As for the alien robots themselves, they look spectacular. They're all richly detailed as they were in the first film, but seem to have gotten quite the technical upgrade in the sequel. The animation is more fluid, especially the actual transforming, and they're incredibly well-rendered. Many kudos to the CGI team for really pushing the envelope with the Transformers and Decepticons. But, there's a major problem with the CGI and that lies within the action sequences. It's hard to really tell what's actually going on in any given fight other than seeing a punch or two here or a missile being shot there. Otherwise, its just a jumbled mess of fighting where parts are flying everywhere due to who-knows-what and spontaneous explosions occurring. This is probably due to many of the metallic parts looking similar, so it might take a second for that head being split in half to actually register in your mind.

That's where the positives stop, however, considering the acting is dreadful. As beautiful as Megan Fox is and as much as I love her real-life personality, she doesn't cut it as an actress. Literally, she's only in movies to get the men wild, and that is another GIMMICK. Fox cannot act to save her life; she's completely unconvincing, shallow, boring, and looks like she's trying to show off her body as much as humanly possible. Shia LaBeouf, though, is a little bit better on the acting scale but that's not really saying much. He has hope and the ability to become a fantastic actor, however, but needs a little more time doing movies that challenge him rather than playing a simpleton who gets picked by aliens to do their bidding. Sam's mom, though, played by Julie White, is actually pretty hysterical and quite the slapstick artist. She's adorable as the attached mother who's afraid to see her little baby grow up and be just flat-out silly about it. The dad, though, is just a 2-dimensional character thrown into the movie for...well, nothing more than to give Sam a dad, I guess. Luckily, John Turturro returns as Seymour Simmons and is a fine, welcome face in the otherwise dreary pool of washed up actors.

Transformers also leaves a lot to be desired in many senses. I'm not a Tranny (Transformers fanatic), but I still don't understand the whole plot line for The Fallen and his relationship to the Decepticons and Transformers. Apparently, he just wants to destroy Earth. That's about it, and the Decepticons are just coming back to retrieve their precious Allspark shard and destroy the Transformers yet again. Oh, when will they learn? Probably not for another 493 sequels. I mean, it probably was described in some shallow, contrived, overly complex voice over spot, but its an issue that its hard to comprehend without researching it afterward. Also, its a tad bit strange to see these robots spew liquid...as in, they cry and spit. Why do they do that? Its completely unnecessary and inconsistent and serves no real purpose other than slight comedy.

Tadaa! Transformers in a nutshell:

-Novice story-telling
-Cheap thrills
-Shallow humor
-Boring acting
-Gimmicky
-Full of product placement
-Cliche
-Uninteresting human characters
-Completely irrelevant romantic subplot
-Been-There-Done-That storyline
-Frenetic and incomprehensible action sequences

Thank the Bay gods for the indisputably fun overall experience and some magical-looking robots. All in all, watching Transformers 2 will make you feel like a kid again, especially if you watched the show. Yep, it'll make you feel like that lazy, potato chip-eating, homework-skipping, test-ditching, gun-obsessed, anime-watching 12 year old all over again...ahh, the good old days.

2.5/10

-Kyle Shelton

Summer Threeview!

Okay, you're asking yourself (if you're reading this) "What the f!$& is a 'Summer Threeview?"

Well, loyal and/or not-so-loyal reader, let me tell you! "Threeview" refers to the fact that Summer is 1/3 of the way over! So, I've picked my top 3 movies of the Summer so far as well as the top 3 movies I can't wait to see.

So, let us begin with the top 3 movies of Summer so far:

3.The Hangover
Yes, the story of a bachelor's party gone terribly awry due to alcohol actually garners my respect. In fact, its my favorite comedy of the year thus far. Why? Because The Hangover isn't an insult to the American lifestyle and traditions we hold unlike most movies of the same genre/style. Actually, it kind of is, but more than an insult its a tease and a commemoration of just how ridiculous the antics of our society really are. It's not a stupid movie; if you can fathom this, its a dumb movie done intelligently. The Hangover is hysterical, continuously comedic, and entertaining through and through. There's tigers, Mike Tyson, a baby, Andy from The Office, a metrosexual Asian mafia leader, and plenty of nudity. And hey, if you liked Old School or American Pie, you're gonna love The Hangover. If you didn't like either of those, you're STILL gonna love The Hangover because its better.




2. Up
Of course, how could someone not include a Disney-Pixar feature when they're talking about their favorite movies? Besides Dreamworks at least...copycats. Just kiddin, Dreamworks, we loved Shrek! And Shrek 2!.......Just the first two..take a hint.

Anyway, Up is a fantastically imaginative story that is whimsical as it is mature. Kids will love it, Adults will love it, and everyone in between will love it. It's just one of those lovable movies from almost every aspect, and Up is certainly no let-down from Pixar. Where kiddish movies like Night at the Museum and Land of the Lost weren't so hot in the "That movie was really good!" department, Up is just the type of film to take kids to...over and over again. I mean, c'mon, what's not to love about a cute and grumpy old man, a clutzy asian Boy Scout, a talking dog, and a peacock/emu/dodo bird hybrid called a "Snipe" who can say more without even making a noise than most can do with an entire speech.


1. Star Trek
You probably saw this coming...as far as Summer blockbusters go, Star Trek is that money-hording thrill ride everyone wants. But wait, there's more! It's not bad! Sure, everyone loves comic book movies or Transformers, but not all of these films really live up to the hype. They're flashy, dazzling, and have that nuance of nostalgia we all crave, but in hindsight, they were just "okay" in the sense of a well-rounded movie. But Star Trek takes the cake from the gimmick bakery and and boldly goes...well you know. A fantastic cast, expert direction, and a witty and bombastic script combine to form what is, ultimately, the perfect movie experience. You leave content and have your expectations shattered into zillions of pieces. Its that movie you recommend to all your friends...and for many, it was a surprise hit (due to the "Trekky" fanbase that seem to be the only ones to actually get excitement when an announcement like this is made). So kudos, Sir Abrams. May your sequels live long and prosper.



Intermission!

Just kidding...unless you actually left this article and did something else for a few minutes before reading on. In that case, in all seriousness. Here we are to my, personal, top 3 contenders for most anticipated Summer movie of 2009 as of June 8! Let it begin!


3. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
G.I. Joe. If you were a kid in the 80's or 90's, just hearing that name gets you inappropriately aroused. So when Paramount Pictures announced an official G.I. Joe movie, well, you can imagine the reaction. All those secret agents, ninjas, robots, mech suits, jet planes, guns, superpowers, terrorists, and weapons of mass destruction are back in superior special effects for its Summer blockbuster debut. Why am I excited? I'll admit, I was never the biggest fan of G.I. Joe...but, I did love the toys and watched the cartoon here and there. Its just one of those childhood remembrances that I can't get rid of, so I'm just naturally ecstatic. But what gets me more is the action packed trailer. Now, if that trailer just doesn't scream "COOL" right at your face for all two minutes, then I seem to have forgotten what "cool" is. As an actual all-around cinematic feature, we'll see if it has what it takes. But as a Summer blockbuster filled with combustible everything from start to finish, its looking to keep me on the edge of my seat through and through (due to fear of an ejection seat going haywire).

2. Public Enemies

Well, this entry isn't so much a Summer blockbuster as it is just a Johnny Depp declaration of "Aww shi*." The man is back as the main baddie/goodie in Public Enemies, the story of John Dillinger. If that poster doesn't already pull you in, check out the trailer. And if THAT doesn't make you want to see it immediately, well then go watch a movie about a forbidden romance between two star-crossed lovers that takes place during the Renaissance or something. Michael Mann looks to be the Man in this feature which he directs. On top of the in-your-face badass style which Public Enemies seems to be heading towards, the soundtrack is engaging and enthralling, or so it seems. This is the kind of movie I'm going to walk out of pretending to shoot up the theater with the justification that the other patrons just "don't understand me." Don't worry, it makes sense. If you love crime dramas, gangster, and/or Johnny Depp, get ready to get your ass kicked on July 1, 2009. (No androgynous drunk pirates were harmed in the making of this film).

1. Inglourious Basterds
Okay okay, so I'm a bit of a Quentin Tarantino fanboy. But, can you blame me? Tarantino stands tall amongst today's directors as one of the best and most beloved. Unfortunately, he likes to have a decent hiatus between his films, usually between 2-3 years. So finally, after a 2 year hiatus after Death Proof, Tarantino returns in his violent and overblown form with a story of Nazi annihilation. Yes, its a World War II story directed by Quentin Tarantino. I'm not quite sure I have the words to describe how perfectly suited he is for such a role. The trailer shows Brad Pitt simply being a badass and ordering the acquisition of 100 Nazi scalps...and he wants his scalps. This trailer shows that Tarantino isn't messing around and this is meant to be one of his masterpieces to show off from his repertoir. What else could be a more perfect end to Summer than a movie about collecting Nazi scalps in France? A movie about collecting Nazi scalps in France directed by Quentin Tarantino and starring Brad Pitt and Ryan from The Office...yes, really.


Aaaaaand there you have it! Kyle Shelton's Summer Threeview! Now, I know a lot of you are probably all ancy because I didn't include X-Men in my favorite films nor did I include Transformers 2 or Harry Potter in my anticipation part...well, I love X-Men, but more like that family member that gives you presents every year and you'd be sad if he/she died but you're not exactly psyched to go see when mom and dad decide its their house's turn for Thanksgiving this year...

Long analogies aside, X-Men was great but didn't hold up to the first 2 X-Men films nor the the overall comic book counterpart of a storyline. As for Transformers, I'm going to go see it, as is 99% of the United States' population, but if I didn't, I really wouldn't be that disappointed. I only liked the first Transformers, and the trailer for this second one really hasn't gotten me in a twisted bundle like the other films I mentioned. In fact, I'm more stoked to see "Funny People" than Transformers 2, but I'm still excited. What can you hate about giant robots beating the bejesus out of eachother, right?

And Harry Potter...well, I haven't finished all your films, and I've only completely read 2 of your books. The movie certainly looks promising, but considering its an adaptation of a craze I never got too into, I'll let it slide as just a mild intrigue rather than full-fledged midnight premiere-worthy fiasco.