Miley Cyrus is a Bird.

First of all, congratulations to me for updating and reworking my entire blog. You’re welcome.
Just. Kidding.

But seriously, you’re welcome. Too much stuff has been occurring recently in our media world for me to just sit here and let it all… well, occur. And so, one of the biggest new things to hit the interwebs is Miley Cyrus’ new video; more importantly, Miley Cyrus’ new look.

The video for “Can’t Be Tamed” premiered about a week ago on E!, demonstrating Cyrus’ new direction in her music career: aka, trying to sound like everyone. else.






Aside from a random little cameo from a Lady Gaga impersonator, Cyrus’ new song sounds like someone took all of Britney Spears songs from both Blackout and Circus, ate them and threw them up all over Ms. Montana’s edgier alter-ego.
Let it be known she’s also extremely sexual in the video. I wanted to make a point of this because, as we all know, Miley Cyrus is a cute little towngirl from Tennessee who sings about living a double life and finding love.

Then she breaks out with a song about how she, more or less, hates that life, and wants to be free and do what she wants. That’s great and everything, but you don’t have to be a slut to do it. Cyrus can be seen sensually touching herself in her 12-year-old nether-regions, and her lyrics come off as quite conceited mixed with a touch of whore. For example:

“Every guy everywhere just gives me mad attention 

Like I'm under inspection, I always get the 10s 

'Cause I'm built like that 

I go through guys like money flyin' out their hands”

With all these boys barking up her tree, you’d think she wouldn’t have time to be writing a song. Then again, we all know the Achey-Breaky one-hit-wonder Billy Ray Cyrus (Miley’s dad for those of you who actually have lives and don’t follow this), primarily wrote all of her old songs. Something tells me he’s evolving from managing, loving, helpful father to pimp-daddy very very fast. Let’s not forget Miley’s magazine cover shoot where she was NAKED, with her father’s graceful and ever-watchful eye simply watching.

Then, of course, it was finally revealed that Miley Cyrus is a bird. So, that’s fun. In the beginning of the video, a nicely dressed banquet host introduced Cyrus as a creature thought to be extinct, “Avis Cyrus.” I’m not kidding. Then all of these rejects from Britney Spears' “Circus” video and Rihanna’s “Disturbia” video appear out of nowhere and start groping Cyrus, cheering her on to be as promiscuous as humanly (or birdly) possible.

Back to the important part though, what do you think? Do you think Miley Cyrus’ ridiculous new direction in her music is good or bad? I can’t help but feel like she wants to ride the Britney/Ke$ha/Cascada/Lady Gaga/Christina Aguilera bandwagon by using some more dancey-clubby synthesized music than her usual pop-rock, mildly country persona she retained before. Then again, you know this song is going to get played at clubs, and the ever popular “I hate the artist but love this song!” quotes will be spewing from everyone’s mouths, including mine.

-Kyle Shelton