Zombieland Review: As Close to Zombie Heaven as you can Get

Vampires! Mummies! Zombies! Oh my! While the Mummy craze is pretty much dead and gone (being composed of only 3 films by the same people: The Mummy), Vampires and Zombies conquer the modern horror sub-genre. Vampires, especially, have grown in popularity quite significantly, what with HBO's True Blood series and the ever-popular "Twilight" saga, but Zombies of old and new are gaining more and more hype as days go by. Perhaps what will kick-start the neo-zombie movement is Ruben Fleischer's directorial debut, Zombieland.

As you could probably assume from the title itself, Zombieland is a film about a world inhabited by zombies, with few survivors remaining: Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), the "badass" rebel-without-a-cause zombie slayer, Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), the shy yet smart teen, Wichita (Emma Stone), the rambunctious teenager who trusts no one, and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), Wichita's younger sister who is as devious as she is cute.

Holy Hell, is it a fun film.

Columbus sets 30+ rules for surviving the post-apocalyptic world of the undead such as: always wear a seatbelt, always check the backseat, be careful with bathrooms, cardio and double tap. After traveling a while back to his hometown of Columbus, Ohio to discover the fate of his parents, he meets Tallahassee, who is driving down the road in a pseudo-armored Cadillac Escalade. They decide to travel together, and along the way they teach each other new things while encountering hordes of more zombies, as well as Wichita and Little Rock, both of whom like to scam and trick people into getting what they want. From there, hilarity ensues.

Zombieland is a film you can't judge heavily, considering its overall purpose is to serve as a silly slapstick comedy, smacked with a zombie label. At its core, though, its a witty parody of the zombie movie genre. It can be viewed as a B-movie exploitation film that populated the 60's and 70's if it weren't for its overwhelming self-awareness. While Zombieland is fun, fun, and more fun, it has its share of faults that hold it back from being the undead savior we've been waiting for.

First off, as I just stated, its self-awareness is blatant and just a bit impeding on what the film wants to be. Yes, Zombieland is a parody and makes fun of the zillions of other films it so gleefully rips off, and it knows it, which seems to be as much of a drawback as a push forward. In one sense, Zombieland would be nothing without its own sinister sense of humor, but in another sense, it plays off itself so much that it expands out of the "movie" realm and into the "look how funny this is" realm.

Zombieland also has its own sense of style, but falls inconsistent too many times. The "rules" that CGI themselves into the narrative are funny and fall into place rightly enough in the first 1/4 of the movie, but eventually are sporadically spread out through different scenes to the point where they're completely forgotten about but make an appearance just to remind you they existed. They were an interesting theme/motif at the beginning, but by the end, they're played out and uninteresting.

The four main characters, although fun, are relatively shallow. Columbus is your run-of-the-mill "ordinary world" hero archetype whose self-proclaimed phobias never really come into play throughout the film. Tallahassee is also your typical "badass" hero who loves guns and smacking the bejesus out of the horde of undead and doesn't like getting too close to anyone. The sisters, Wichita and Little Rock, are the most fun characters considering their deviousness and trickery, but ultimately they repeat a redundant pattern and eventually have their "turn around" moment of goodness.

The characters lead to the plot of Zombieland (as if it needed one). It's predictable from beginning to end. Sure, Little Rock fooled me the first time I saw her, but I figured out the sisters' calculating course after that. Also, the plot falls too formulaic by the end, with an unnecessary (and purely humorous) love story that only really develops at the very end; in fact, there's no real development of the connection between Wichita and Columbus other than the clearing of the hair over a girl's ear that he so whimsically desires to accomplish. Rather than subtle or progressive changing, each character has a big turnaround in their lifestyles within the last 15 minutes of the film. That throws off the pacing; that is to say, you will most likely enjoy the first half of Zombieland than the second.

The first half relies on style more than substance (naturally) to showcase the powerful filmmaking and ballet-style cinematography of the director and the cinematographer, which is where Zombieland has its golden moments. The opening sequences are extremely exciting, demonstrating slow motion gore and humor in ways never seen before. There's also a fun scene in a "Kemo Sabe" store that, if you're a fan of destruction, will satisfy your annihilation funny bone better than any Michael Bay flick. Then you start getting to the second half of the film, which attempts to finally blend style with substance, which every movie should do. Ultimately, it fails. The reason for the failure seems to be that the director somewhat forgot that Zombieland was an exercise in "coolness" and tried to put some real character development and emotional feeling into the fragment of a story he had. Of course, for any semi-serious portion of the film was an outstandingly funny segment in close following, so at least Zombieland never completely diverts from its core, but it does drive off-course enough to be relatively annoying.

All in all, you won't really care for the characters; if it wasn't for the comedy that each of them emit from time to time, you wouldn't be attached at all. For what Zombieland does right, it does right big. For everything else that Zombieland tried to be, which to me, felt like the perfect rounded movie, it dreadfully falls flat. I was excited to see the zombie-exploitative gore fest of fun, which I did, but not to the degree I was truly expecting. The sisters' stories bothered me the most, though; was it really that important to travel to a cheesy childhood wonderland? Of course, only to...well, when you watch the film, you'll realize how idiotic the ending was; it became an excuse for the slaphappy super-fun itchy-trigger undead destruction carnival to take place in an amusement park. When it comes down to it, a lot of the film just ends up using excuses to set up another scene instead of story progression or, well...logic. God forbid I'm ever stuck with a man who solely lives to eat a Twinkie when the apocalypse takes place. Enjoy Zombieland's extremity in the extreme for the first half or so, but try your best to sit through any of the slower parts toward the end...and also, turn off your brain: other than not getting eaten by zombies, you may be able to fully extract all the satisfaction you can out of this film made by the very same zombies by doing so. Zombieland is creative in its own right and certainly an entertaining popcorn movie, but it may have suited the Summer movie rush more than the Fall. The film is eye-candy, through and through, and that's it. While most may argue that Zombieland is supposed to be stupid-funny and its not trying to win any oscars, its an unbalanced bag. The writing is actually clever and fun, never diluting itself to tasteless jokes (ahem, Transformers 2), but the dialogue is the only part of the writing that really holds tight. Kudos to the style and cinematic powerhouse of direction and flare...negative kudos to everything else.

6.5/10

Fall Movie Preview!

So I haven't updated my movie page in quite a while, what with the business I've been going through with college nonsense. But hey! Who needs a college degree when you can lounge around on your couch and type away on the laptop all day, huh?

That was a joke. Kids, go to school.

On an unrelated and much less corny note, Summer is drawing to a very near close...although sad for anyone in school under the age of 19, it's a glorious celebration for the movie world! Finally, all the popcorn-popping mindless movies of the May-August spectrum are leaving...and entering are the Oscar-grabbers and intermittently "just-for-fun" enjoyable films. Although Summer ended with 2 spectacular mainstream masterpieces (District 9 and Inglourious Basterds), the time has come to look to the future for what seems to hold promise!

To begin, I'd like to point out a hugely produced and long-awaited little picture known simply as "9." What's especially intriguing right off the bat about 9 is the production team: Tim Burton (The Nightmare Before Christmas, Edward Scissorhands) and Timur Bekmambetov (director of Wanted). This is a very odd yet exciting coupling of artistic and visual design, which only extrapolates the intensity of what 9 is already about: a group of various, miniature ragdoll-esque humanoid figures on a mission to save the world after the human race is destroyed. Judging from the trailer(s), 9 looks to be an epic film, and I don't just mean really good, it actually looks like it's on an epic scale. Giant robots and firefights galore, it's an ambitious and classic "Hero's Tale" modified for a modern post-apocalyptic setting. It also has an ensemble cast, including Elijah Wood, John C. Reilly, Jennifer Connelly, and Crispin Glover. Appropriately destined, check out 9 when it's released on September 9, 2009!

Next is a new vampire flick entitled "The Vampire's Assistant," based on a part of the series of books known as The Saga of Darren Shan. Now, the first thing that popped into my head when i saw this (and I'm sure plenty of other peoples' heads as well) is that it seems to be trying to cash in on the vampire fad that has plagued us for the past year, thanks to the Twilight and True Blood crazes. However, after watching the trailer (and not having read the books), it looks to be a light-hearted fantasy comedy of sorts that distinguishes itself as a different and more original premise than the other vampire knockoffs of today. It tells the tale of a teenage boy who loves the mythological and realizes that a man in a "freakshow" circus act is actually a vampire. Enticed by the astounding history of vampire lore, he is easily convinced to learn the ways of the vampire. What's also interesting is that said vampire is played by the comical John C. Reilly (Walk Hard, Step Brothers). When I first heard about the film, I assumed it to be an overall seriously toned work, but after watching the trailer, it looks to have its funny moments as well as its dark ones. The movie shows some promise, but I'm not getting my hopes up too high. Look out for this one October 23, 2009.

And now, a film that I have been on edge about since the beginning of the year: Where the Wild Things Are. There are no words to describe how excited I am for this film to premiere, considering it's based on a beautiful childrens' book that I loved as a kid. Helmed by famed and beloved director Spike Jonze (Adaptation., Being John Malkovich), it looks to be quite a visceral exploration of human imagination and emotion. Most of all, the film just looks so incredibly lovable on so many levels and also seems to be enjoyable to children, teens, and adults alike. The book itself had so little dialogue that it'll definitely be a feat to turn it into a full fledged film, but a very welcome feat. Here's to loving Where the Wild Things Are on October 16, 2009.

Next up is a film that I don't feel too excited about: The Road. What strikes my interest is that it's based on a story written by Cormac McCarthy, the writer of No Country for Old Men. However, in the recent flood of vampire, zombie and apocalypse films, The Road doesn't really stand out all too much. What can be taken from the trailer is that it's set right after a disastrous event (most likely a disease or virus) that annihilated most of the world's population, and now a small family must fight for their survival through insane headhunters and (possibly) zombified creatures. Like I said, this would be all well and good if we hadn't seen this kind of film already so many times before. But, if it interests you beyond my own, look out for it on October 16, 2009!

Now I come to a film that I've already covered in a previous Movie Preview: Zombieland. Starring Woody Harrelson, Zombieland looks to be a B-Movie-esque style interpretation of survivors fighting off hordes of zombies in some sort of disastrous aftermath. What makes it special is its style and presentation, looking to glorify zombie-execution techniques and, well...just plain being a fun movie. Like the zombies you'll witness on-screen, it sure looks to be a mindless popcorn-stuffing thrill ride that you, hopefully, won't soon forget. But, it hasn't come out yet, thus it's too early to tell if Zombieland has what it takes to be a great film. It comes out on October 9, 2009.

Now we come to a wishy-washy looking movie called "Gamer" starring 300's Gerard Butler. The premise looks interesting: people can control inmates in an ultra-violent video game resembling a third-person shooter (similar to Gears of War) by moving their body and having the inmate/character move in the exact same manner. Obviously, it's posing some interesting questions about being able to control someone else's body and the morality behind it, but that same theme looks to be better done in Disney's upcoming adaptation "Surrogates." However, it does look to satiate the casual viewer's hunger for action and violence, and with that I cannot argue. We'll just have to see how well it executes its motives next this Friday, September 4, 2009.

Hollywood may not be the smartest group of people on the planet, but sometimes that can be looked as a good thing. Regardless of how the following film turns out to be, I can't get over the mundane and cliche title of it: Ninja Assassin. All strifes with taxonomy aside, Ninja Assassin certainly builds its premise within the confines of the anime-crazy junkies, but also in the general public's view of the "cool" ninja and the "cool" assassin ideals. Ninja Assassin, although mildly gimmicky, holds to its Japanese/Chinese roots by having mostly Asian actors and set in a (possibly mostly) Asian setting: that means no mullet-wearing Nicolas Cage with a sniper rifle on top of tall metropolitan buildings. Phewww. Jokes aside, Ninja Assassin may just be too gimmicky for its own good, telling a pretty bland, cliche, pseudo-coming-of-age tale of a boy being raised strictly and militarily in the ways of the ninja only to be betrayed at a much older age and swearing revenge. But, perhaps it'll succeed as a fun and inventive modern martial-arts picture? And the fact that it's being produced by the Wachowski Brothers (The Matrix Trilogy) can't hurt either. We won't know until it comes out November 25, 2009.

Ahh you knew I'd get around to this gem...Saw VI. Oh when will it end? I'm sure all the retro rollerbladers of the 1980's and early 90's asked the very same question when it came to Jason Vorhees and Freddy Krueger. Most people complain about the Saw series as being a dragged out and immoral celebration of gore and torture, and while there may be some truth to that, Saw also tags an interesting story behind its relatively disgusting premise. Kudos to the writers for continuously making more story every time it seems it has met its dead end. No matter how much you may berate the film for its wrongdoings, chances are you'll probably end up seeing it any way, at least to get into the Halloween spirit. The trailer for Saw VI doesn't really hint at too much story evolution, but it does keep the tension that it raises every year with new traps and new, ugly yet creative ways of death dealing human destruction. What will the new installment bring us this year? You'll have to wait till October 23, 2009 to find out.

Now to break the mold and introduce a romantic comedy from the producer of Paris, Je T'aime: New York, I Love You; it's a cornucopia collection of 12 short films all with the universal theme of finding love, whether it's successful or not. It also has quite an all-star cast, including Shia LaBeouf, Christina Ricci, Hayden Christensen, Orlando Bloom, Andy Garcia, Ethan Hawke, Cloris Leachman and even Natalie Portman who directs a segment! Now that's a mouthful. New York is certainly aiming to be a heartwarming, funny, and charming cinematic endeavor, much like Paris was. Opening October 16, 2009, be sure to check it out; surely at least one of your favorite actors is appearing in it.

Moving on from love, zombies, vampires, and the apocalypse, we enter another familiar realm of filmmaking: aliens. The new film starring Milla Jovovich (Resident Evil, Ultraviolet), The Fourth Kind, showcases experiments done by Dr. Abigail Tyler in a rural town in Alaska. Her patients showed signs of various mental illnesses and outbursts and have claimed to have some sort of contact with aliens. If alien conspiracy is your cup of tea, then The Fourth Kind is right up your alley; judging from the trailer, the only thing that worries me about the film overall is that it may be a bit boring at parts, considering it is largely a collection of interviews. Also, the veracity of the film is going to be discussed for years to come, as I'm sure the Doctor's studies were...but you can watch the film on November 6, 2009 and come up with your own theories.

Speaking of theories, 2012 is a little film that may or may not have true evidence to back it. As you've surely heard, the world is ending around December 21, 2012, therefore a movie must be made to warn us! (and also dazzle us with an astoundingly high production budget). From the director of The Day After Tomorrow and Independence Day, 2012 tells the story of the cataclysmic event that will end the world and, possibly, the human race. It's a tale of, you guessed it, survival, but moreover the film seems to be a wildly expensive exercise in crazy special effects (as you could tell from the trailer's tidal waves, earthquakes, and even an aircraft carrier crashing into Congress). Will 2012 hold up beyond just morbid eye-candy? Find out when it hits theaters November 13, 2009.


Here's a worthy notable without a release date although it is scheduled to have its grand premiere on September 10, 2009: Creation. Creation is the biographical tale of Charles Darwin and his penning of "The Origin of Species." The film seems to set its focus on the "killing of God" idea that people had back then (and still do) in reference to his proving of evolution. Darwin is always a fun person to talk about and his works tend to strike up fun (if not battle-starting) conversation. The trailer shows Darwin in a very respectable light, and also shows that he isn't entirely sure of what his findings mean, but more that his colleagues egg him on to publish his findings and disprove the theory of God and even religions as a whole. His wife, however, is a deeply religious woman who fears for his life and her own if he makes his works public. It still has a "Coming Soon" status as of now, but I'm expecting it sometime this Winter.

Aaaand there you have it! Quite a varied array of films coming very, very, very soon to your nearest movie theater (or computer screen...jerks)! I hope you enjoyed my own personal take on the films, but I've barely grazed the surface of what there is to come in the Fall and beyond!

Kyle Shelton

Zombieland Preview: Amuzement and Zany Zombie Fun For All!

Well, if you know me personally, then you know that I am a sucker for anything having to do with zombies, pirates, ninjas, robots, dinosaurs, or any conglomerate combination of the such. Well, I look out for zombie movies in particular because they are a bit difficult to create well. Luckily, though, Woody Harrelson is here to save the day...I give you Zombieland:



Now, from this trailer, we can deduce one thing: Zombieland is meant almost entirely to be a comedy schlock-and-awe type of film. So if you're looking for some Romero recall, look elsewhere; this is all fun and games, even after an eye gets poked out. From several glances, Zombieland seems to tell the tale of a group of adolescents who find solace from the overrun world of zombies with a rebellious drifter-type badass named Tallahassee played by Harrelson. The cuts of all the different weapons being used, the "zombie kill of the week" clip, and the sarcastic, documentary-esque voiceover all point to one thing: fun.

And the camera work and visual style are a little different looking, but I can't put my finger on how, exactly. It looks a tad bit low-budget, which is fine especially considering its a zombie flick, and just seems like its unprofessional. You could probably ignore this entire paragraph, but I like it because it looks to be a shallow yet exciting and interesting feature. When an old lady drops a piano on a crazy, carniverous undead mutant, you know its going to be a good time. Bill Murray, Abigail Breslin, Emma Stone, and Jesse Eisenberg are also slated to star.

At any rate, keep your eyes peeled, if you're into zombies and gore films like I am anyway, for Zombieland, hitting theaters this October!